Can anyone tell me?

When did my children grow up?

Summer

This summer was bittersweet. It was the first summer my kids have ever had a normal visitation with their Dad. So for two, two week periods this summer I have been wandering around the house aimlessly. Not really, school, work, and summer sewer projects always call to me. I traveled when I could, to ignore the gaping hole in my heart that is filled perfectly by Ashalee, Andrew and Adam. So, I did get to go to Florida, Asheville NC and Olympia WA. The scenery was awesome, but even better than the scenery were true friends who regardless of my neurosis (like tubing down death defying rapids, or worrying I won't make it hiking),still consider me a friend. Hopefully a life long friend. These are some of the most amazing women, and I consider it a privilege to call them friends.

Do I need any more reasons?

http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=218&ad=7369522&cat=105&lpid=14 (copy and paste into browser)
The divorce rate is rising exponentially. It's not like people need anymore incentive to divorce, but here is one more reason to NOT marry. My favorite part of this listing is the misspelling of excessively right after drinks hmmmm. Just thought I would be helpful. You know, doing my part to help prevent unnecessary pain by preaching abstinence from marriage. If the website doesn't work on your browser this is what the ad reads, listed under pets.


Husband Needs Good Home
provo, UT 84655 - Jul 31, 2009
My Husband needs a good home..
not housebroken.. Barks all the time.
Stays outside most the time. Drinks Exsessivly
Eats 22 hours of the day
if you can give him a good home please email me thanks

Friends

There are times in our lives where we see who our real friends are and set free those who are simply posing as friends, when in reality they are the furthest thing from a true friend. Thank you to all my friends who choose to love. You are amazing gifts.

South Dakota Crazy Hinton Reunion

I love my family even though they drive me crazy at times. I wonder if anyone else feels this way? They know your most vulnerable spots and sometimes use it to their advantage. Some have bathed with you, played with you, been disciplined with you and cried with you. None of us is close to perfect and I wouldn't want it any other way because many times it's our imperfections that bring us closer. Congratulations Hinton family we survived another reunion still loving each other regardless of our weaknesses, political opinions, bald spots, love handles and flatulence. That is no small feat! I love you ALL!

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt!

Not all of my children go to their Dad's house every other weekend. Two of them stay home with me. But when their siblings are gone and there is no one to play with but boring old me they get antsy and start harassing each other. It is a known fact that when the regular routine becomes off balance children who normally behave, start acting out. These innocent looking children of mine.....



decide to drive each other, and in turn, drive me crazy. It usually starts out with the oldest most mature, namely Bella taking a quick cheap shot at Bombo. Look closely she is quick. What you don't see in this picture is the aftermath. Bella's paw strikes Bombo soundly on the nose, numerous times. And before her calculated assault he was just minding his own business trying to take a nap.

Bombo's response is one of shock initially. He tries to gain composure and moves over to the other side of the bed to finish his nap. Bella strikes again by biting repeatedly at Bombo's whisker's. This time Bombo lets out a half hearted(in human speak)very whiny protest "STOP!" as you can see in this next picture.
He then turns his head to me as to say, "are you going to do anything about her behavior!"




Bombo the much younger sibling finally snapped and decided to take matters into his own hands pinning his older but much smaller sister to the bed with only his mouth as Bella protests loudly. This reminds me of a time when I realized that I could no longer harass my younger brother because he could take me down faster than a speeding bullet, flat on my back. Live and learn Bella, live and learn. Like they say it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.



After this fiasco Bombo and Bella were sent into time out to think about what they had done and to come up with five ways they could have handled this situation differently. I never received answers from either of them they spent most of their time sulking, as noted in the pictures below.






While in time out I did catch Bombo making faces at Bella, as shown below, so I added an extra five minutes to his confinement. I'll have to talk to him about that later.





For those of you who may think it must be enjoyable for me to have no disciplining, no fighting, no noise, every other weekend. Just remember my other two children. As angelic as they may look....







don't be fooled because the cycle of sibling abuse is about to start again; right in the middle of a nap. It's a rough life, I tell ya!








No animals were harmed (seriously) during this post.

One more reason I love this guy

Adam recently had a retainer put on his top teeth preparing him for braces. (I am taking donations for my ever increasing orthodontists bills:) While having the retainer fitted the dentist decided to pull one of his last remaining front baby teeth out so the retainer would work more effectively. On the way home from this very traumatic experience for Adam he hinted that maybe the tooth fairy should give him double the money, at least FIVE DOLLARS for how brave he had been . My sharpened, very perceptive Mothering Decoding Messages Skill (or MCDS) heard this. "Mom, I have been saving up my money for a new mp3 player and if you pay me at least FIVE DOLLARS I will have reached my goal and be able to jam out on my new mp3 player." I reminded him of the fact that he hasn't believed in the tooth fairy for years but that I think he did a very good job at not biting the dentist this time. I told him I would think about it and then dropped him off at school to finish the day and show off his new mouthful of hardware. Adam came in the house after school very upset and trying not to cry. I asked him if he was OK and he explained to me through his tears that he had left his newly pulled tooth on his lunch tray because he wanted to show it to the lunch lady (apparently him and the lunch lady are pretty tight?). Because he was so hungry he set it on his tray and in his haste to get out to recess to "protect the girls from bullies" he let the poor lonely tooth be dumped into the abyss of unwanted potatoes, gravy and frozen carrots. And because of the good mother that I am I tried my best to console him then sent him outside to play because maybe that would cheer him up. I just barely reached my room when I couldn't control my gut instinct to laugh, no actually it was more like a guffaw. It was the funniest story I had heard all day! (I know, not to empathetic.) Fast forward to bed time. Adam, my very sensitive and emotional fifth grader comes to me again with tears in his eyes wondering what he should do about the tooth fairy dilemma. He had no proof "except for a big hole in his head" and he doesn't think that will be enough to get his FIVE DOLLARS. I came up with an ingenious plan. I told him that the tooth fairy may consider giving him the money if he could write up a short proposal about what happened and why he thinks he should get the money. Maybe even a signed and notarized affidavit from the lunch lady and his best friend Aaron saying they did indeed see the tooth. He seemed less than excited because writing is not his strongest subject math is. With that we all went to bed. Morning time rolls around much to soon in our house and Ashalee has to be out the door by seven to make it to Tuachan. As I am sleeping I here a big bang coming from the stairs and Ashalee moaning. She slowly creeps into my room to tell me she was coming up the stairs and slipped on a piece of paper. She handed it to me and this is what I read.


For those of you that are having a hard time reading it this is what it said exactly the way he wrote it.

Dear Tooth Fairy,
I hope you get this note, because some thing happend to my tooth. OK I'll tell you the story, I wanted to show the lunch lady my tooth so I forgot to tak it off my lunch tray (when I was done) so it kinda ended up in the trash.
Your guy,
Adam Johnson

P.S. Can I have some mony with that?

That wasn't exactly what the tooth fairy was looking for but she couldn't resist. He clenched it when I read "your guy". I wrapped up three dollars worth of quarters(from my Vegas days:) in the note and wrote on it "thanks for clearing that up for me. The books are balanced again. Love, the tooth fairy" Then I put it in his retainer container. Things are now back to normal the drama has subsided for now. But I have to get one thing off my chest. Adam totally could have received his five dollars but apparently we really need to work on spelling and grammar this summer. Also, I had to knock one dollar off without the signed notarized affidavits, they were essential components to his case. He did earn three dollars for shear cuteness. One more reason I love my guy.

Spring

The Coral Pink Sand Dunes are about 12 miles away from the ranch. I took Ash, Andrew, Cole(cousin) and the dogs out there and was reminded how beautiful it is. I was actually happy to see the red dirt in my washer, it took me back to a really good time. There is still residual of this adventure in my van and I am not sure if I want to clean it out quite yet. Yes, a van full of beautiful red dirt that could never be duplicated by photoshop can and is nostalgic to me. Call me weird,(not to my face) but I even think the stuff smells good.

Who says?

There are many spoken and unspoken rules put out in the universe by well meaning but misguided people that seem to be extremely ludicrous and go against the very nature of how human beings are made. I am about to debunk one of these strange rules that has never made sense to me. And that is...who says girls aren't supposed to get dirty? We were at the ranch two weekends ago and without any prompting, this is what transpired. With no plans as to what we were going to do this is what all the girls were spontaneously and naturally drawn to.


Could you imagine what joy these (my nieces) girls would be missing out on if someone had told them to get out of the dirt because girls don't get dirty. They know nothing else but feeling the cool sand between their fingers and toes. Digging in the earth for treasures untold. Building, working on something so individually spectacular. I hope no one will ever tell them that girls shouldn't play in the dirt, but if someone ever does? I hope all of these girls remember this great dirt filled day and know that it isn't true.

Sibling Rivalry

At work today the family of our program director came in to say goodbye. They had been visiting her during spring break and were going back home. One of her cutest grandchildren who is about ten and has a older brother who is 16, asked what the office was for and what we did exactly. My co-worker responded that we provide housing for Women and Children when they don't have any other place to go because someone at their house is beating them up. He looked around at all the toys in the waiting room in amazement and really seemed to be pondering what this meant. After much internal dialogue that I saw spinning around in his head he excitedly said, "Do you have a place for kids who get beat up by their big brothers?, because I could use a place like that!" For the record this boy had no visible bruises and the family seemed very capable of protecting their child from really getting beat up. Also, having two boys that are continually getting physical in a "it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt" kind of way. So this made me laugh so hard. This ten year old deciphered the message told to him of what we do, by using his own background knowledge of his brother beating him up and deciding maybe he could be in need of our housing services. I loved it! I can see it now. We could rewrite our mission statement to include not only women and children coming out of domestic violence into our long term housing; but also children who have older siblings that cause normal sibling anguish in their lives. I think we would be inundated by applications from all over the world of children who want to get the hell out their house because their siblings drive them crazy. Having six siblings I would have been one of the applicants applying for my own private, quiet home with no annoying brothers and sisters ruining my stuff, blaming me for random things and most of all beating me up. I can only say to this little boy seeking refuge from a bigger brother, that hopefully in twenty years he will have an awesome relationship with his brother and wish that he could spend more time with him. I know that is how I feel about all three of my brothers.

Laundry Detergent

1 bar of soap preferably ivory or zote (I found zote at a Hispanic store it is a bar of soap made for cleaning clothes.)
1/2C washing soda (I found this at my local grocery store) If you can't find it you can replace it with the cheap version of oxyclean.
1/2C Borax

Cut the bar of soap into smaller pieces then put it in your food processor and mix it until fine. If you don't have a food processor you can grate it with a grater. Add washing soda and borax. Mix completely. It will have a laundry soap consistency when you are all done. Store in a airtight container. Use one to two tablespoons per load depending on how big and how dirty the load is, I use two. It works great. This is really fun to make with the kids. Make sure you wear some kind of mask when making, it is pretty potent.
Last week we made liquid hand soap, it was like a really cool science project and after some tweaking, it turned out really good and it smells yummy. And best of all it is 30 cents for two gallons.

Now What!

Look what happened about a month ago. I thought that if I didn't mention IT or blog about IT, IT wouldn't really be happening.


Yes, that is Ashalee in the drivers seat, and yes she is actually driving.
We went down the the DMV to get her learners permit about a month ago and I honestly must say it was the first test she has taken that I prayed she would fail. But, she came through and passed with flying colors. What I want to know is how did she go from this...


To this....



Then like one of those magic sponge things that grow when you add water, to this....


This is one of Ashy's typical 15 year old "take your own picture to put on my space" but it's what we agreed on and sadly she said no to any embarrassing bathtub pictures(when she was young of course). So what happened? I love every stage of her life but I can't figure out what stage I missed to get to this point so quickly. Did I miss something? I don't think I did, but it doesn't feel like it's been fifteen years! Ash is really happy about this new turn of events and I am genuinely happy for her. I am just sad for me. Selfish as it may be five turns into ten, ten turns into twelve, twelve turns into fifteen, fifteen turns into adult...and the very unforgiving clock continues forward, never leaving time for us to breathe. I've done the math a hundred times their is no equation to stop or turn back time. It just keeps marching forward like a out of control, speeding mack truck with no brakes to give us rest. Maybe it's a almost mid life crisis, but as I am sitting here thinking of how much I miss the three month, one year, five year, twelve year, fourteen year old Ashalee, I am so thrilled to be able to hang out with the fifteen year old Ash. And coming sooner than later the twenty year, thirty and forty year old Ashalee. I have the kindest, bravest, and the most beautifully bold daughter, and any way she allows me to share her life no matter the age, I will consider it a privilege. And while I am at it, how did these cute children.....


So quickly morph into these most awesome kids in the world?

Interesting, but not surprising

This just in...Study: Utah ranks No. 1 for online porn subscriptions
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=5744801
Utah is number one in many things some good, some bad. Prescription drugs for anxiety and depression are being handed out like candy, we are number one in that to. If it weren't so sad I would think it was funny. Maybe we could charge a huge state tax for those who subscribe to porn in the name of their sanctified marriage. This tax could go directly to students and teachers because Utah isn't number one in education. They are the lowest in per pupil funding...food for thought. I really do love Utah it is one of the most beautiful states in the country. I wonder if hiding these issues under a blanket of pretense and holier than thou attitude is really helpful. I guess when it really comes down to it the truth really does set you free. Some may not realize that yet.

Face the Music

So I signed up for facebook last week. It's quite a trip and leaves me feeling like I am in high school again. So I guess how it works is you send out friend requests to people you know and they can either accept you or reject you as a friend...sound familiar anyone? Talk about returning back to the primitive, lower, miserable social hierarchy.... *********H I G H S C H O O L***********
So my normally secure self has become a somewhat insecure, neurotic person who talks to herself. OUT LOUD! Me checking my e-mail..You will need a code to read this. RMe= reasonable me and SRME= socially retarded me

RMe: So I sent whatshername a friend request four days ago and she hasn't responded...I wonder what's up?

SRME: I will tell you what's up, she hates your guts and thinks you are a ignorant stupid person now and in high school.

RMe: I don't remember her hating me in high school she is probably busy and just hasn't checked her mail in a while.

SRME: Whatever this is facebook EVERYONE checks their facebook..anyone cool anyway. Face the facebook music. SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU!

RMe: This is extremely ridiculous. If she doesn't want to add me as "her friend" then I most likely wouldn't want her to be "my friend".

SRME: My point exactly..she doesn't want to be your friend..didn't you break her nose in softball? Or was she the girl that you colored in her teeth in your year book?

RMe: I have never done that! Well I did break someones nose..on accident.

SRME: Maybe she didn't add you as a friend because you are clumsy and when it comes down to it, just not cool enough.

RMe: waving my white flag You are probably right..shut up please.

Pathetic and sad I know. Can you believe a insignificant online social network website could make me feel so crazy? Apparently, I need to re look at my high school years to see where all of this insane insecurity is coming from. Which means I need to work a second job to pay for more therapy...
SRME: What if the new therapist is your high school homecoming queen?
RMe: Never mind, I will just take up drinking.

Up Next..... How to start your own home worm composting system !!

"Times are tough!" It's kind of getting old this new saying. So how tough are they really? I guess it comes down to each individual and what they have lost. Some have lost their jobs, house, cars, and are now homeless..that's got to be hard. Some have lost their internet connection and had to sell their prized china on craigslist. Many have lost their hope. Quite a few are trying to figure out what the big deal is and still get paid millions to run a failing corporate business only to watch it be bailed out by us. I have found the solution to all our problems! Ok, I got a little carried away. There are many things we don't have control of right now. But, there are still many things we can and should control right now. I am blessed to have a job and a roof over my head, but money is still a issue for everyone. So Adam and I were working on his merit badge and decided to figure out how to save money... We spend the most on household items like laundry detergent, paper towels, cleaners etc. So we decided to start making our own laundry detergent. We figured it out and it costs 2 cents a load compared to 20 cents a load with our old detergent. And it works just as good as the store stuff. It feels good to save money. But we will definitely stop at making our own toilet paper..no one would enjoy that.

Christmas 2008

No more whine in 2009

So the kids and I were trying to think of a catchy somewhat cheesy phrase to represent 2009. These are some of the runner ups. Feeling fine in 2009, not a dime in 2009, Why oh Why 2009!, Shut up and drive 2009, you make me cry 2009, eat and dine in 2009, find a pine in 2009 (this time when it's light out) and wish you were mine in 2009. We went with no more whine in 2009. I do have to admit it wasn't the most popular vote and I swayed it quite substantially by enforcing the fact that Mom's one vote really should count for four votes because of the magnitude of my job as mother. So due to this unfortunate voting protocol no more whine in 2009 won by a landslide! I plan to use this new years mantra wisely. My children will hear it often but not to often in fear of them tuning me out as it is spoken. Whining changes gears for children as they mature. But in no way does it stop happening. So for all you mothers out there who have young children and think the whine is just a developmental age appropriate behavior and that it will soon subside, you are living a pipe dream. Sorry to burst your bubble but it just changes from "Mommy, I want a happy meal!" to "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!, Ashalee is invading my bubble she is crossing my boundary. Tell her to stop!" or "Mom, Mom, Mom please can you buy me the new I pod touch? Please Please!" (happy meals are much cheaper). So the current whine I experience contains more words but still contains that high pitched- break your ear drum sound that makes us want to scream. Love my kids, hate the whine. It's official I won at least one child over for our 2009 saying. After much deliberation Adam decided that maybe it's not such a bad saying after all. He suggested the title we chose "no more whine in 2009" could be a helpful reminder for many people, kids who are spoiled, co-workers who complain to much, sales people who try to get you to by stuff, but especially for people who drank to much in 2008.... Glad we could be of service.