Christmas Tree's and Cactus don't mix

Because nothing in our lives is either easy nor unexciting; this experience is no exception. My children will have many many crazy stories to tell their children. If my children wanted a normal childhood they were born to the wrong mother and I know they are exactly where they are supposed to be, and sometimes I am sad for them because of it but they will never lack character and they can thank me their crazy mother for it. This true story begins on Monday December 8, 2008. A very gloomy day dark opaque clouds hovering low not a mountain to be seen. Finally after days of great weather, sunny days that lasted forever; Winter had come. Most of the shiny golden yellow leaves had fell as the trees stretched and swirled nakedly in the wind seeming to ask the sky for their clothes back. I to wanted something back from the sky.. I wanted to be able to see the sky in all its grandiose blueness the blue that can never be replicated not even by Crayola. I also wanted to be warm and none of these were happening. Enter my bad, gloomy mood. My mood was as dark and cranky as the clouds that mocked me and covered my gargantuan sky that usually reaches toward space all the way to the tip of the mountains kissing them gently with its happiness. I am getting way off track. So it was a bad day, I had a final to take and was in no mood to write essays on various sexual dysfunctions, developments of cohesive family models and the prevalence rates of maladaptive behavior in persons that use marijuana regularly. In fact now that I think of it a little marijuana would have been very helpful to me throughout this ever-growing-worse day. (just kidding Mom and any small children reading this. Marijuana is very bad bad bad for you). To spare you anymore of my crazy specifics I will get right to the point. That is what I have been trying to do this whole time..no really! This day bad days of all bad days was unfortunately the one and only day we could go cut down the tree at the ranch before Christmas. So in true fashion we all piled into the truck and speed out to the Christmas tree store aka the ranch. If you have never been to the ranch let me paint a picture for you. As far as the Christmas tree situation you can find a real Christmas tree every thirty feet...if you are lucky. The rest of the trees are juniper or something like that they are pretty in their own ugly way, but not very conducive to having them in your house, because they shed. We had to speed because we were racing Father time and failing miserably. As we speed toward the ranch the sun gets lower and lower waving goodbye. Now I must ask have you ever gone Christmas tree hunting in the dark in the middle of nowhere? We turned off the safe secure main road and headed into the dark abyss of the ridge. The trees barely lighted by the rapidly setting sun were warning all their tree friends that we were there and WE HAD A SAW!!. We pile hurriedly out of the truck and scatter to search for a tree almost anything will do maybe even the kind that shed bark? As it darkened a sense of panic began to encompass me. It was dark, the coyotes were starting to howl and I had no idea where my children were, I could only hear them. I screamed my mama bear scream "Come Here!" that if translated says "stop what you are doing this is important I need to keep you safe follow my voice wherever you are I mean business don't ask why I am your mother!" All in one statement, I thought about patenting it someday but I am not the only mother out there. The kids came flying at me from all directions wondering what my deal is and why the heck am I yelling! I tell them to stay by me so they don't get eaten by coyotes or that one wild cow we have never found that is wandering around and is terribly ferocious. They all rolled their eyes simentaneuoly and reminded me that cows are herbivores and we are the ones that eat cow. I looked around frantically and noticed everyone was with me but Michele she did not hear my mother bear command because I am not her Mother. The task turned from looking for a tree in the dark to looking for Michele in the dark. I asked Andrew the brave prepared boy scout where the flashlights were and he quietly reminded me that I told him to leave them in the truck that we didn't need them. A blood curdling scream rang out through the shedding trees and we strained to hear what or who it was as it chilled us to the bone. Just kidding, actually it was Michele yelling to tell us she thought she found a tree the whole blood curdling thing sounded better though. We ran..I mean crouching low to the ground feeling our way around like old blind people. We found her and safe and sound standing next to the cutest Christmas tree ever...at least we think it was cute we couldn't really tell in the dark. We had to act fast! Michele handed me the saw and instructed me to start sawing while she and Andrew went to get the truck so we could shine the lights on it to see what we are cutting. I started sawing away in the dark unbeknownst to me that the sharp pain I was feeling on my knee was a cactus I had ever so gently kneeled on. Michele and Andrew had, incidentally brought the gloves with them because they were much more helpful with them than the person cutting down the tree glove less! I continued cutting like a crazy mad woman while Michele continues to circle in the truck not finding us because it was snowing wildly. While cutting the tree down with frozen hands now sitting on the cactus, Adam decided he would take matters into his own hands. He stripped his coat and his two layers of shirts and flashed the truck with his naked belly. I yelled, "what are you doing?" He replied, "you can't see dark clothes at night but I know Michele will be able to see my belly because it's white!" I was not in the mood to argue with my half naked son standing in a snow storm trying to use his cute white belly as some kind of reflector so we could be saved. Still sawing violently I could have cut my finger off and not have known it, it was that cold. Adam's belly reflecting worked, Michele saw Adam's blinding light and followed it to us. By the time she got to us the tree was almost cut. Andrew finished cutting it we threw it in the truck and got in to thaw out. After being warmed up I the throbbing pain in my hind quarters and my knee were perplexing. I turned the light in the truck on and noticed my pants were permanently stuck to me by cacti needles. Hence the title Christmas tree's and cacti don't mix..they really don't. Amen

Colorado Slide Show

One of these things is not like the other....

This is my back yard the day before Thanksgiving it's still as beautiful and I am having a really hard time coming to grips that it's Winter. It was 64 degrees and gorgeous today. (I must be getting desperate if I am in the mood to write about the weather)But who says talking about the weather is boring? Obviously not me.





There is a huge contrast between my back yard and Colorado. I didn't have the kids for Thanksgiving so I decided instead of staying home and moping I would go to Colorado. I brought my favorite sidekick super MO aka Michele. We had a blast visiting Becca and Christine. They are known to bring out a whole new side of people and they did. Wild and crazy! Actually we just sat around and relaxed which was awesome! No dancing or crazy making allowed at their house. Here are some pictures of the ride home. It was one of the best times I have had in a long time.

Halloween with the cutest cowgirl and cowboy EVER

California

Me and Michele drove to California this weekend for a early birthday present for me and a late one for her. We also had beach fever. We went to the Ellen show because it was free and I think she is funny. Her show is done on the Warner Brothers lot. She seemed kind of sad that day, and I was wondering if she is always that sad. Warner Brothers is very media oriented of course and I had no idea what the hype was about certain shows that were aired on the lot probably because I don't have TV. All I can say is I am so happy I am not famous. There are so many things you would have to give up and sometimes that could mean values that you thought were a priority. It would be so easy to sell your values for money and not even realize that is what you are doing. I think famous people have a hard job and wonder if the reason some of them are famous is because they are trying to fulfill something within themselves that they will never find being in the spotlight. Just food for thought. I am even more grateful for my little part of the world trying to be kind and choosing to love, and contributing what I can. So the trip was AWESOME! We drove down sunset blvd. and through Beverley Hills. The architecture was great and we got some great ideas for the house here. We drove down Pacific Coast Highway and ended up at a really cool beach spot called El Matador. I am ready to go back. Here's a slide show of the beach.

Adam is 11

As I was typing the title to this entry I accidentally typed Adam is 22. It took my breath away and I stared at it for a long time. I was completely taken aback. But if Adam's first eleven years of life is any indication of how the next ten years will go. He will be 22 tomorrow. This has gone way to fast for me and I don't like it. But I am going to focus on what I do like. I like that we can talk about anything and he understands what I am saying.(except for that time I brought up school and tried to discuss Psychosocial Causal Factors In Unipolar Disorders. He quietly and mannerly walked out of the room.) I love that with every year his reasoning capability and critical thinking improves. I love that when he is thinking of something I can tell by his facial expressions; they are so loud you could almost read his mind. He wears his heart on his sleeve and loves to talk to strangers and is genuinely concerned with people in need. Adam is an awesome boy turning into a awesome man. Happy Birthday Adam! Ashalee's birthday is next, I hope I don't accidentally type Ashalee is 55! Oh, and a quick thank-you to everyone who came to Adam's party. I have the best siblings ever! I love you ALL!

Ranch cleaning party

Me and the kids went out to the ranch on one very important task. It was to clean the ranch house. We split up the work and got it done faster than I thought. We played first of course. It was great enjoying my children while cleaning, listening to music, trying out our new dance moves while cleaning. Next weekend I will go out to finish the windows and base boards. Have I told you lately how much I love Ashalee, Andrew, and Adam?

My Best Friend

Michele and her flip flops

I am extremely lucky to have such an awesome best friend. Michele is one of the kindest people I know. I have learned from her that kindness is more than a behavior, it's a way of being. She loves my children, therefore, I love her. I have known her for four years but it's felt like longer. We have so many inside jokes that at times it's hard to make eye contact with her for fear of bursting out laughing. When I see her she usually knows what kind of day I have had. We have so much in common but are so different at the same time. I love being with her even if we are doing manual labor that is kicking my butt, because we enjoy each others company and it usually turns out hilarious. For example, on Wednesday we decided to take the boat out to Quail lake while the kids were in school. When we got there the boat wouldn't start. So Michele said, "We can just turn the boat around, back the truck up into the water and jump the battery to the boat. The visual for me was that BOTH vehicles would be in the water, and electricity and water don't mix. I reluctantly agreed to help her with this insane endeavour praying the entire time that no one would get electrocuted. Miraculously we stayed safe, got the boat started and headed off onto the lake. When it was time to go the boat didn't start. We were almost as far away from the dock as we could be. No boats on the lake, just us. I freaked, Michele jumped in the water tied a rope onto a hook on the front of the boat. She looped the rope around so that it made two ropes coming of the knot. One for me, one for her. At that moment I understood what she was doing. We were going to pull/swim the boat to the dock! I reluctantly jumped in and we started swimming like crazy pulling the boat a inch a minute. This is not a small boat either. It's a 18 foot pontoon boat with a bathroom on the back. In the middle of the swim, I look over at her and she is just smiling. We were actually having fun. Except for the part I thought I was going to drown. The point is that we made it. We did it together. forty five minutes of swimming pulling a boat together laughing at the predicament we got to share together. I call it a Michele moment, and I have many, many more. I wouldn't change any of those crazy stranded somewhere pretend your Mcgyver moments for anything, because they were with her. She is impulsive and that drives me crazy because I am not, but I have never laughed so hard with another person. Come to think of it I have never cried so hard with another person. She'll say things like "let's build a house today" or "Do you want to tile today" with so much excitement in her voice. She truly believes there is nothing she can't do. I have learned by watching and working with her that I can do anything. I know how to drywall, tile, frame, paint my toenails, and love deeper because of her. I care about her so much that I will forgive her for wearing flip flops while riding a horse. There are things I teach her too. Looks like she's getting a pair of cowboy boots for Christmas. Anyone up for a lake drive/swim?

Andrew

Most of the gang!





Happy Birthday Andrew! It was Andrew's 12th Birthday yesterday and as no surprise he requested to have it at the ranch. So 22 of his closest family members and friends rode out into the boondocks and threw a huge party for the greatest twelve year old I know. Andrew LOVED the party so much that even after everyone left, we still partied until eleven thirty pm and then crashed landed into bed. Today we cleaned up and went home. Andrew, of course didn't want to go home and begged me to leave him out at the ranch. My heart strings pulled and his big blue eyes were shining on me with all the joy and hope in the world. Sometimes I look in his big blues and see the big blue ranch sky. It is his world. He is confident and self assured at the ranch. He is at peace with himself and everything surrounding him. I felt bad that we had to leave. But I can't wait for the day he can take his old beat up Ford truck out there by himself and breathe in and see all the joy and peace he can fit in those big blues and into his big heart. I am not afraid of him growing up. He will make it. I just don't want him to grow up to fast, but I know that's inevitable. But until then he has to leave the place he loves the most in the world, when Mom has to leave. But a part of both of us stayed at the ranch. It always does.

Things I did NOT do while my children were gone

This is a very healthy thing for me to do so judgement isn't a option. You can't ever tell me you have ever NOT done something you thought you SHOULD do, or have a sink full of dishes.
Did NOT do dishes

Did NOT clean my room

Or Bathroom

Did NOT study for this...

Did NOT read this (even though I should, my brain feels like it's switched off! I am still trying to figure out who switched it off! There must be someone to blame.)


Did NOT water or weed my garden

Did NOT plant grass in the back field.


But alas, it is Friday and MOST of them are done, except for the fixing my brain part. My children and I are better for it! So go out there and NOT do something today you think you SHOULD. I dare you.

Things I want to do while my children are gone

Another weekend without my children:-( So I thought I would write a list of things I could do while they are at their Dads house, so that I would stop staring catatonically at the ceiling when they are gone. I wanted some of the things on the list to be just about me taking care of myself so that when my children come home I am a functional, caring, stable mother for them. As most mother's do I get wrapped up so much in what I am SUPPOSED to do or what I SHOULD do. So by the time I do all the should's I am exhausted. So to keep myself accountable and sane I will share with the Internet world my list in pictures.
Finish my Spirograph art (great therapy, btw)



Get a pedicure


Feed the dogs


Read (one of my favorites)



Relax in one of my favorite places in the world, my back yard.


Take pictures of my back yard






Pick my garden (anyone want tomatoes?)


Take pictures of my garden (mmm yellow squash)


Sleep

Help Michele with the out building soon to be therapy house






Just a few things on my list of what I want to do. Tune in next time for things I should do but I am not :-)