Now What!

Look what happened about a month ago. I thought that if I didn't mention IT or blog about IT, IT wouldn't really be happening.


Yes, that is Ashalee in the drivers seat, and yes she is actually driving.
We went down the the DMV to get her learners permit about a month ago and I honestly must say it was the first test she has taken that I prayed she would fail. But, she came through and passed with flying colors. What I want to know is how did she go from this...


To this....



Then like one of those magic sponge things that grow when you add water, to this....


This is one of Ashy's typical 15 year old "take your own picture to put on my space" but it's what we agreed on and sadly she said no to any embarrassing bathtub pictures(when she was young of course). So what happened? I love every stage of her life but I can't figure out what stage I missed to get to this point so quickly. Did I miss something? I don't think I did, but it doesn't feel like it's been fifteen years! Ash is really happy about this new turn of events and I am genuinely happy for her. I am just sad for me. Selfish as it may be five turns into ten, ten turns into twelve, twelve turns into fifteen, fifteen turns into adult...and the very unforgiving clock continues forward, never leaving time for us to breathe. I've done the math a hundred times their is no equation to stop or turn back time. It just keeps marching forward like a out of control, speeding mack truck with no brakes to give us rest. Maybe it's a almost mid life crisis, but as I am sitting here thinking of how much I miss the three month, one year, five year, twelve year, fourteen year old Ashalee, I am so thrilled to be able to hang out with the fifteen year old Ash. And coming sooner than later the twenty year, thirty and forty year old Ashalee. I have the kindest, bravest, and the most beautifully bold daughter, and any way she allows me to share her life no matter the age, I will consider it a privilege. And while I am at it, how did these cute children.....


So quickly morph into these most awesome kids in the world?

Interesting, but not surprising

This just in...Study: Utah ranks No. 1 for online porn subscriptions
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=5744801
Utah is number one in many things some good, some bad. Prescription drugs for anxiety and depression are being handed out like candy, we are number one in that to. If it weren't so sad I would think it was funny. Maybe we could charge a huge state tax for those who subscribe to porn in the name of their sanctified marriage. This tax could go directly to students and teachers because Utah isn't number one in education. They are the lowest in per pupil funding...food for thought. I really do love Utah it is one of the most beautiful states in the country. I wonder if hiding these issues under a blanket of pretense and holier than thou attitude is really helpful. I guess when it really comes down to it the truth really does set you free. Some may not realize that yet.

Face the Music

So I signed up for facebook last week. It's quite a trip and leaves me feeling like I am in high school again. So I guess how it works is you send out friend requests to people you know and they can either accept you or reject you as a friend...sound familiar anyone? Talk about returning back to the primitive, lower, miserable social hierarchy.... *********H I G H S C H O O L***********
So my normally secure self has become a somewhat insecure, neurotic person who talks to herself. OUT LOUD! Me checking my e-mail..You will need a code to read this. RMe= reasonable me and SRME= socially retarded me

RMe: So I sent whatshername a friend request four days ago and she hasn't responded...I wonder what's up?

SRME: I will tell you what's up, she hates your guts and thinks you are a ignorant stupid person now and in high school.

RMe: I don't remember her hating me in high school she is probably busy and just hasn't checked her mail in a while.

SRME: Whatever this is facebook EVERYONE checks their facebook..anyone cool anyway. Face the facebook music. SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU!

RMe: This is extremely ridiculous. If she doesn't want to add me as "her friend" then I most likely wouldn't want her to be "my friend".

SRME: My point exactly..she doesn't want to be your friend..didn't you break her nose in softball? Or was she the girl that you colored in her teeth in your year book?

RMe: I have never done that! Well I did break someones nose..on accident.

SRME: Maybe she didn't add you as a friend because you are clumsy and when it comes down to it, just not cool enough.

RMe: waving my white flag You are probably right..shut up please.

Pathetic and sad I know. Can you believe a insignificant online social network website could make me feel so crazy? Apparently, I need to re look at my high school years to see where all of this insane insecurity is coming from. Which means I need to work a second job to pay for more therapy...
SRME: What if the new therapist is your high school homecoming queen?
RMe: Never mind, I will just take up drinking.

Up Next..... How to start your own home worm composting system !!

"Times are tough!" It's kind of getting old this new saying. So how tough are they really? I guess it comes down to each individual and what they have lost. Some have lost their jobs, house, cars, and are now homeless..that's got to be hard. Some have lost their internet connection and had to sell their prized china on craigslist. Many have lost their hope. Quite a few are trying to figure out what the big deal is and still get paid millions to run a failing corporate business only to watch it be bailed out by us. I have found the solution to all our problems! Ok, I got a little carried away. There are many things we don't have control of right now. But, there are still many things we can and should control right now. I am blessed to have a job and a roof over my head, but money is still a issue for everyone. So Adam and I were working on his merit badge and decided to figure out how to save money... We spend the most on household items like laundry detergent, paper towels, cleaners etc. So we decided to start making our own laundry detergent. We figured it out and it costs 2 cents a load compared to 20 cents a load with our old detergent. And it works just as good as the store stuff. It feels good to save money. But we will definitely stop at making our own toilet paper..no one would enjoy that.

Christmas 2008

No more whine in 2009

So the kids and I were trying to think of a catchy somewhat cheesy phrase to represent 2009. These are some of the runner ups. Feeling fine in 2009, not a dime in 2009, Why oh Why 2009!, Shut up and drive 2009, you make me cry 2009, eat and dine in 2009, find a pine in 2009 (this time when it's light out) and wish you were mine in 2009. We went with no more whine in 2009. I do have to admit it wasn't the most popular vote and I swayed it quite substantially by enforcing the fact that Mom's one vote really should count for four votes because of the magnitude of my job as mother. So due to this unfortunate voting protocol no more whine in 2009 won by a landslide! I plan to use this new years mantra wisely. My children will hear it often but not to often in fear of them tuning me out as it is spoken. Whining changes gears for children as they mature. But in no way does it stop happening. So for all you mothers out there who have young children and think the whine is just a developmental age appropriate behavior and that it will soon subside, you are living a pipe dream. Sorry to burst your bubble but it just changes from "Mommy, I want a happy meal!" to "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!, Ashalee is invading my bubble she is crossing my boundary. Tell her to stop!" or "Mom, Mom, Mom please can you buy me the new I pod touch? Please Please!" (happy meals are much cheaper). So the current whine I experience contains more words but still contains that high pitched- break your ear drum sound that makes us want to scream. Love my kids, hate the whine. It's official I won at least one child over for our 2009 saying. After much deliberation Adam decided that maybe it's not such a bad saying after all. He suggested the title we chose "no more whine in 2009" could be a helpful reminder for many people, kids who are spoiled, co-workers who complain to much, sales people who try to get you to by stuff, but especially for people who drank to much in 2008.... Glad we could be of service.

Christmas Tree's and Cactus don't mix

Because nothing in our lives is either easy nor unexciting; this experience is no exception. My children will have many many crazy stories to tell their children. If my children wanted a normal childhood they were born to the wrong mother and I know they are exactly where they are supposed to be, and sometimes I am sad for them because of it but they will never lack character and they can thank me their crazy mother for it. This true story begins on Monday December 8, 2008. A very gloomy day dark opaque clouds hovering low not a mountain to be seen. Finally after days of great weather, sunny days that lasted forever; Winter had come. Most of the shiny golden yellow leaves had fell as the trees stretched and swirled nakedly in the wind seeming to ask the sky for their clothes back. I to wanted something back from the sky.. I wanted to be able to see the sky in all its grandiose blueness the blue that can never be replicated not even by Crayola. I also wanted to be warm and none of these were happening. Enter my bad, gloomy mood. My mood was as dark and cranky as the clouds that mocked me and covered my gargantuan sky that usually reaches toward space all the way to the tip of the mountains kissing them gently with its happiness. I am getting way off track. So it was a bad day, I had a final to take and was in no mood to write essays on various sexual dysfunctions, developments of cohesive family models and the prevalence rates of maladaptive behavior in persons that use marijuana regularly. In fact now that I think of it a little marijuana would have been very helpful to me throughout this ever-growing-worse day. (just kidding Mom and any small children reading this. Marijuana is very bad bad bad for you). To spare you anymore of my crazy specifics I will get right to the point. That is what I have been trying to do this whole time..no really! This day bad days of all bad days was unfortunately the one and only day we could go cut down the tree at the ranch before Christmas. So in true fashion we all piled into the truck and speed out to the Christmas tree store aka the ranch. If you have never been to the ranch let me paint a picture for you. As far as the Christmas tree situation you can find a real Christmas tree every thirty feet...if you are lucky. The rest of the trees are juniper or something like that they are pretty in their own ugly way, but not very conducive to having them in your house, because they shed. We had to speed because we were racing Father time and failing miserably. As we speed toward the ranch the sun gets lower and lower waving goodbye. Now I must ask have you ever gone Christmas tree hunting in the dark in the middle of nowhere? We turned off the safe secure main road and headed into the dark abyss of the ridge. The trees barely lighted by the rapidly setting sun were warning all their tree friends that we were there and WE HAD A SAW!!. We pile hurriedly out of the truck and scatter to search for a tree almost anything will do maybe even the kind that shed bark? As it darkened a sense of panic began to encompass me. It was dark, the coyotes were starting to howl and I had no idea where my children were, I could only hear them. I screamed my mama bear scream "Come Here!" that if translated says "stop what you are doing this is important I need to keep you safe follow my voice wherever you are I mean business don't ask why I am your mother!" All in one statement, I thought about patenting it someday but I am not the only mother out there. The kids came flying at me from all directions wondering what my deal is and why the heck am I yelling! I tell them to stay by me so they don't get eaten by coyotes or that one wild cow we have never found that is wandering around and is terribly ferocious. They all rolled their eyes simentaneuoly and reminded me that cows are herbivores and we are the ones that eat cow. I looked around frantically and noticed everyone was with me but Michele she did not hear my mother bear command because I am not her Mother. The task turned from looking for a tree in the dark to looking for Michele in the dark. I asked Andrew the brave prepared boy scout where the flashlights were and he quietly reminded me that I told him to leave them in the truck that we didn't need them. A blood curdling scream rang out through the shedding trees and we strained to hear what or who it was as it chilled us to the bone. Just kidding, actually it was Michele yelling to tell us she thought she found a tree the whole blood curdling thing sounded better though. We ran..I mean crouching low to the ground feeling our way around like old blind people. We found her and safe and sound standing next to the cutest Christmas tree ever...at least we think it was cute we couldn't really tell in the dark. We had to act fast! Michele handed me the saw and instructed me to start sawing while she and Andrew went to get the truck so we could shine the lights on it to see what we are cutting. I started sawing away in the dark unbeknownst to me that the sharp pain I was feeling on my knee was a cactus I had ever so gently kneeled on. Michele and Andrew had, incidentally brought the gloves with them because they were much more helpful with them than the person cutting down the tree glove less! I continued cutting like a crazy mad woman while Michele continues to circle in the truck not finding us because it was snowing wildly. While cutting the tree down with frozen hands now sitting on the cactus, Adam decided he would take matters into his own hands. He stripped his coat and his two layers of shirts and flashed the truck with his naked belly. I yelled, "what are you doing?" He replied, "you can't see dark clothes at night but I know Michele will be able to see my belly because it's white!" I was not in the mood to argue with my half naked son standing in a snow storm trying to use his cute white belly as some kind of reflector so we could be saved. Still sawing violently I could have cut my finger off and not have known it, it was that cold. Adam's belly reflecting worked, Michele saw Adam's blinding light and followed it to us. By the time she got to us the tree was almost cut. Andrew finished cutting it we threw it in the truck and got in to thaw out. After being warmed up I the throbbing pain in my hind quarters and my knee were perplexing. I turned the light in the truck on and noticed my pants were permanently stuck to me by cacti needles. Hence the title Christmas tree's and cacti don't mix..they really don't. Amen