Christmas 2008

No more whine in 2009

So the kids and I were trying to think of a catchy somewhat cheesy phrase to represent 2009. These are some of the runner ups. Feeling fine in 2009, not a dime in 2009, Why oh Why 2009!, Shut up and drive 2009, you make me cry 2009, eat and dine in 2009, find a pine in 2009 (this time when it's light out) and wish you were mine in 2009. We went with no more whine in 2009. I do have to admit it wasn't the most popular vote and I swayed it quite substantially by enforcing the fact that Mom's one vote really should count for four votes because of the magnitude of my job as mother. So due to this unfortunate voting protocol no more whine in 2009 won by a landslide! I plan to use this new years mantra wisely. My children will hear it often but not to often in fear of them tuning me out as it is spoken. Whining changes gears for children as they mature. But in no way does it stop happening. So for all you mothers out there who have young children and think the whine is just a developmental age appropriate behavior and that it will soon subside, you are living a pipe dream. Sorry to burst your bubble but it just changes from "Mommy, I want a happy meal!" to "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!, Ashalee is invading my bubble she is crossing my boundary. Tell her to stop!" or "Mom, Mom, Mom please can you buy me the new I pod touch? Please Please!" (happy meals are much cheaper). So the current whine I experience contains more words but still contains that high pitched- break your ear drum sound that makes us want to scream. Love my kids, hate the whine. It's official I won at least one child over for our 2009 saying. After much deliberation Adam decided that maybe it's not such a bad saying after all. He suggested the title we chose "no more whine in 2009" could be a helpful reminder for many people, kids who are spoiled, co-workers who complain to much, sales people who try to get you to by stuff, but especially for people who drank to much in 2008.... Glad we could be of service.

Christmas Tree's and Cactus don't mix

Because nothing in our lives is either easy nor unexciting; this experience is no exception. My children will have many many crazy stories to tell their children. If my children wanted a normal childhood they were born to the wrong mother and I know they are exactly where they are supposed to be, and sometimes I am sad for them because of it but they will never lack character and they can thank me their crazy mother for it. This true story begins on Monday December 8, 2008. A very gloomy day dark opaque clouds hovering low not a mountain to be seen. Finally after days of great weather, sunny days that lasted forever; Winter had come. Most of the shiny golden yellow leaves had fell as the trees stretched and swirled nakedly in the wind seeming to ask the sky for their clothes back. I to wanted something back from the sky.. I wanted to be able to see the sky in all its grandiose blueness the blue that can never be replicated not even by Crayola. I also wanted to be warm and none of these were happening. Enter my bad, gloomy mood. My mood was as dark and cranky as the clouds that mocked me and covered my gargantuan sky that usually reaches toward space all the way to the tip of the mountains kissing them gently with its happiness. I am getting way off track. So it was a bad day, I had a final to take and was in no mood to write essays on various sexual dysfunctions, developments of cohesive family models and the prevalence rates of maladaptive behavior in persons that use marijuana regularly. In fact now that I think of it a little marijuana would have been very helpful to me throughout this ever-growing-worse day. (just kidding Mom and any small children reading this. Marijuana is very bad bad bad for you). To spare you anymore of my crazy specifics I will get right to the point. That is what I have been trying to do this whole time..no really! This day bad days of all bad days was unfortunately the one and only day we could go cut down the tree at the ranch before Christmas. So in true fashion we all piled into the truck and speed out to the Christmas tree store aka the ranch. If you have never been to the ranch let me paint a picture for you. As far as the Christmas tree situation you can find a real Christmas tree every thirty feet...if you are lucky. The rest of the trees are juniper or something like that they are pretty in their own ugly way, but not very conducive to having them in your house, because they shed. We had to speed because we were racing Father time and failing miserably. As we speed toward the ranch the sun gets lower and lower waving goodbye. Now I must ask have you ever gone Christmas tree hunting in the dark in the middle of nowhere? We turned off the safe secure main road and headed into the dark abyss of the ridge. The trees barely lighted by the rapidly setting sun were warning all their tree friends that we were there and WE HAD A SAW!!. We pile hurriedly out of the truck and scatter to search for a tree almost anything will do maybe even the kind that shed bark? As it darkened a sense of panic began to encompass me. It was dark, the coyotes were starting to howl and I had no idea where my children were, I could only hear them. I screamed my mama bear scream "Come Here!" that if translated says "stop what you are doing this is important I need to keep you safe follow my voice wherever you are I mean business don't ask why I am your mother!" All in one statement, I thought about patenting it someday but I am not the only mother out there. The kids came flying at me from all directions wondering what my deal is and why the heck am I yelling! I tell them to stay by me so they don't get eaten by coyotes or that one wild cow we have never found that is wandering around and is terribly ferocious. They all rolled their eyes simentaneuoly and reminded me that cows are herbivores and we are the ones that eat cow. I looked around frantically and noticed everyone was with me but Michele she did not hear my mother bear command because I am not her Mother. The task turned from looking for a tree in the dark to looking for Michele in the dark. I asked Andrew the brave prepared boy scout where the flashlights were and he quietly reminded me that I told him to leave them in the truck that we didn't need them. A blood curdling scream rang out through the shedding trees and we strained to hear what or who it was as it chilled us to the bone. Just kidding, actually it was Michele yelling to tell us she thought she found a tree the whole blood curdling thing sounded better though. We ran..I mean crouching low to the ground feeling our way around like old blind people. We found her and safe and sound standing next to the cutest Christmas tree ever...at least we think it was cute we couldn't really tell in the dark. We had to act fast! Michele handed me the saw and instructed me to start sawing while she and Andrew went to get the truck so we could shine the lights on it to see what we are cutting. I started sawing away in the dark unbeknownst to me that the sharp pain I was feeling on my knee was a cactus I had ever so gently kneeled on. Michele and Andrew had, incidentally brought the gloves with them because they were much more helpful with them than the person cutting down the tree glove less! I continued cutting like a crazy mad woman while Michele continues to circle in the truck not finding us because it was snowing wildly. While cutting the tree down with frozen hands now sitting on the cactus, Adam decided he would take matters into his own hands. He stripped his coat and his two layers of shirts and flashed the truck with his naked belly. I yelled, "what are you doing?" He replied, "you can't see dark clothes at night but I know Michele will be able to see my belly because it's white!" I was not in the mood to argue with my half naked son standing in a snow storm trying to use his cute white belly as some kind of reflector so we could be saved. Still sawing violently I could have cut my finger off and not have known it, it was that cold. Adam's belly reflecting worked, Michele saw Adam's blinding light and followed it to us. By the time she got to us the tree was almost cut. Andrew finished cutting it we threw it in the truck and got in to thaw out. After being warmed up I the throbbing pain in my hind quarters and my knee were perplexing. I turned the light in the truck on and noticed my pants were permanently stuck to me by cacti needles. Hence the title Christmas tree's and cacti don't mix..they really don't. Amen

Colorado Slide Show

One of these things is not like the other....

This is my back yard the day before Thanksgiving it's still as beautiful and I am having a really hard time coming to grips that it's Winter. It was 64 degrees and gorgeous today. (I must be getting desperate if I am in the mood to write about the weather)But who says talking about the weather is boring? Obviously not me.





There is a huge contrast between my back yard and Colorado. I didn't have the kids for Thanksgiving so I decided instead of staying home and moping I would go to Colorado. I brought my favorite sidekick super MO aka Michele. We had a blast visiting Becca and Christine. They are known to bring out a whole new side of people and they did. Wild and crazy! Actually we just sat around and relaxed which was awesome! No dancing or crazy making allowed at their house. Here are some pictures of the ride home. It was one of the best times I have had in a long time.

Halloween with the cutest cowgirl and cowboy EVER

California

Me and Michele drove to California this weekend for a early birthday present for me and a late one for her. We also had beach fever. We went to the Ellen show because it was free and I think she is funny. Her show is done on the Warner Brothers lot. She seemed kind of sad that day, and I was wondering if she is always that sad. Warner Brothers is very media oriented of course and I had no idea what the hype was about certain shows that were aired on the lot probably because I don't have TV. All I can say is I am so happy I am not famous. There are so many things you would have to give up and sometimes that could mean values that you thought were a priority. It would be so easy to sell your values for money and not even realize that is what you are doing. I think famous people have a hard job and wonder if the reason some of them are famous is because they are trying to fulfill something within themselves that they will never find being in the spotlight. Just food for thought. I am even more grateful for my little part of the world trying to be kind and choosing to love, and contributing what I can. So the trip was AWESOME! We drove down sunset blvd. and through Beverley Hills. The architecture was great and we got some great ideas for the house here. We drove down Pacific Coast Highway and ended up at a really cool beach spot called El Matador. I am ready to go back. Here's a slide show of the beach.