Adam is 11

As I was typing the title to this entry I accidentally typed Adam is 22. It took my breath away and I stared at it for a long time. I was completely taken aback. But if Adam's first eleven years of life is any indication of how the next ten years will go. He will be 22 tomorrow. This has gone way to fast for me and I don't like it. But I am going to focus on what I do like. I like that we can talk about anything and he understands what I am saying.(except for that time I brought up school and tried to discuss Psychosocial Causal Factors In Unipolar Disorders. He quietly and mannerly walked out of the room.) I love that with every year his reasoning capability and critical thinking improves. I love that when he is thinking of something I can tell by his facial expressions; they are so loud you could almost read his mind. He wears his heart on his sleeve and loves to talk to strangers and is genuinely concerned with people in need. Adam is an awesome boy turning into a awesome man. Happy Birthday Adam! Ashalee's birthday is next, I hope I don't accidentally type Ashalee is 55! Oh, and a quick thank-you to everyone who came to Adam's party. I have the best siblings ever! I love you ALL!

Ranch cleaning party

Me and the kids went out to the ranch on one very important task. It was to clean the ranch house. We split up the work and got it done faster than I thought. We played first of course. It was great enjoying my children while cleaning, listening to music, trying out our new dance moves while cleaning. Next weekend I will go out to finish the windows and base boards. Have I told you lately how much I love Ashalee, Andrew, and Adam?

My Best Friend

Michele and her flip flops

I am extremely lucky to have such an awesome best friend. Michele is one of the kindest people I know. I have learned from her that kindness is more than a behavior, it's a way of being. She loves my children, therefore, I love her. I have known her for four years but it's felt like longer. We have so many inside jokes that at times it's hard to make eye contact with her for fear of bursting out laughing. When I see her she usually knows what kind of day I have had. We have so much in common but are so different at the same time. I love being with her even if we are doing manual labor that is kicking my butt, because we enjoy each others company and it usually turns out hilarious. For example, on Wednesday we decided to take the boat out to Quail lake while the kids were in school. When we got there the boat wouldn't start. So Michele said, "We can just turn the boat around, back the truck up into the water and jump the battery to the boat. The visual for me was that BOTH vehicles would be in the water, and electricity and water don't mix. I reluctantly agreed to help her with this insane endeavour praying the entire time that no one would get electrocuted. Miraculously we stayed safe, got the boat started and headed off onto the lake. When it was time to go the boat didn't start. We were almost as far away from the dock as we could be. No boats on the lake, just us. I freaked, Michele jumped in the water tied a rope onto a hook on the front of the boat. She looped the rope around so that it made two ropes coming of the knot. One for me, one for her. At that moment I understood what she was doing. We were going to pull/swim the boat to the dock! I reluctantly jumped in and we started swimming like crazy pulling the boat a inch a minute. This is not a small boat either. It's a 18 foot pontoon boat with a bathroom on the back. In the middle of the swim, I look over at her and she is just smiling. We were actually having fun. Except for the part I thought I was going to drown. The point is that we made it. We did it together. forty five minutes of swimming pulling a boat together laughing at the predicament we got to share together. I call it a Michele moment, and I have many, many more. I wouldn't change any of those crazy stranded somewhere pretend your Mcgyver moments for anything, because they were with her. She is impulsive and that drives me crazy because I am not, but I have never laughed so hard with another person. Come to think of it I have never cried so hard with another person. She'll say things like "let's build a house today" or "Do you want to tile today" with so much excitement in her voice. She truly believes there is nothing she can't do. I have learned by watching and working with her that I can do anything. I know how to drywall, tile, frame, paint my toenails, and love deeper because of her. I care about her so much that I will forgive her for wearing flip flops while riding a horse. There are things I teach her too. Looks like she's getting a pair of cowboy boots for Christmas. Anyone up for a lake drive/swim?

Andrew

Most of the gang!





Happy Birthday Andrew! It was Andrew's 12th Birthday yesterday and as no surprise he requested to have it at the ranch. So 22 of his closest family members and friends rode out into the boondocks and threw a huge party for the greatest twelve year old I know. Andrew LOVED the party so much that even after everyone left, we still partied until eleven thirty pm and then crashed landed into bed. Today we cleaned up and went home. Andrew, of course didn't want to go home and begged me to leave him out at the ranch. My heart strings pulled and his big blue eyes were shining on me with all the joy and hope in the world. Sometimes I look in his big blues and see the big blue ranch sky. It is his world. He is confident and self assured at the ranch. He is at peace with himself and everything surrounding him. I felt bad that we had to leave. But I can't wait for the day he can take his old beat up Ford truck out there by himself and breathe in and see all the joy and peace he can fit in those big blues and into his big heart. I am not afraid of him growing up. He will make it. I just don't want him to grow up to fast, but I know that's inevitable. But until then he has to leave the place he loves the most in the world, when Mom has to leave. But a part of both of us stayed at the ranch. It always does.

Things I did NOT do while my children were gone

This is a very healthy thing for me to do so judgement isn't a option. You can't ever tell me you have ever NOT done something you thought you SHOULD do, or have a sink full of dishes.
Did NOT do dishes

Did NOT clean my room

Or Bathroom

Did NOT study for this...

Did NOT read this (even though I should, my brain feels like it's switched off! I am still trying to figure out who switched it off! There must be someone to blame.)


Did NOT water or weed my garden

Did NOT plant grass in the back field.


But alas, it is Friday and MOST of them are done, except for the fixing my brain part. My children and I are better for it! So go out there and NOT do something today you think you SHOULD. I dare you.

Things I want to do while my children are gone

Another weekend without my children:-( So I thought I would write a list of things I could do while they are at their Dads house, so that I would stop staring catatonically at the ceiling when they are gone. I wanted some of the things on the list to be just about me taking care of myself so that when my children come home I am a functional, caring, stable mother for them. As most mother's do I get wrapped up so much in what I am SUPPOSED to do or what I SHOULD do. So by the time I do all the should's I am exhausted. So to keep myself accountable and sane I will share with the Internet world my list in pictures.
Finish my Spirograph art (great therapy, btw)



Get a pedicure


Feed the dogs


Read (one of my favorites)



Relax in one of my favorite places in the world, my back yard.


Take pictures of my back yard






Pick my garden (anyone want tomatoes?)


Take pictures of my garden (mmm yellow squash)


Sleep

Help Michele with the out building soon to be therapy house






Just a few things on my list of what I want to do. Tune in next time for things I should do but I am not :-)

The little things

I spent the weekend up in Salt Lake. My parent's forgot two boxes I brought them up to them. It sounds like they are having a blast in the MTC. I stayed in downtown Salt Lake which I love and I got some good pictures roaming the streets. The trip was somewhat relaxing and nerve wracking. The kids were with their Dad (second visit unsupervised) and by Saturday I was remembering the little things that I love so much about them. Adam's wonderful singing voice and his great hugs. His business mind put to work on how to save the world and HE WILL in his own way. Andrew's philosophical way of explaining to me why he should have a gun and why he shouldn't have to take the trash out and him coming upstairs for the millionth time just to spend more time with me or to tell me something VERY IMPORTANT. Ashalee's no nonsense attitude when it comes to things she is very passionate about, like loving and caring for others regardless of who or what they do. Her adult way of expressing and verbalizing herself even though she is only 14. And when she acts exactly like a fourteen year old. This new transition has been positive in some ways but the biggest way for me is that I will be less likely to take them for granted. They are awesome, wonderful, beautiful people. I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder. Or maybe better put, absence makes the heart grow larger.