Crazy Making

Choosing

2011-04-03T22:03:00.000-06:00

I LOVE this video...a great way to give voice. What is your journey

EASTER

2010-04-06T13:34:00.004-06:00

I had a great idea! I thought I would post all of my half finished posts, which gives me a feeling of a fresh blog start....life is busy, life is good. One of the main reasons I started this blog was to keep my parents posted on our family while they were serving a LDS mission. They are home so my motivation to write here has greatly diminished. I think they are probably the only ones that actually read this...now that they are home and live 5 minutes away, who knows. This was a post that only got a picture but it was a very fun hike. Apparently it was Easter?

What we are doing update

2010-02-21T21:41:00.005-07:00

Silence on the blog front = Us truly living. Ashalee has successfully finished her Sophomore year at Tuachan high school. She loves the school, she was in the play once on this island and in choir and dance this year. Andrew just finished 7th grade. This year was a much better year for him. He is doing great at making the adolescent transition...I decided he does much better if I just keep my mouth shut. Adam just finished sixth grade. He loved it and is Mr. social all the time. I am still working at ekmf as the child advocate and loving my job. My children's program is growing unbelievably, I actually believe I am helping change lives. I work with 52 children ages birth to 18. I am STILL in school for my masters but am happy to report that I have 8 months of course work left, then on to my internship where I am actually able to do counseling. Michele is working at the college and developing a awesome new program for students who are entering developmental math. She is also working at the ekmf with me as the Director of operations, which has made my job so much less complicated. She is amazing as always.
Most importantly through all the struggles and crazy making of life we are still alive and smiling most days. And on days we are not smiling we are crying and that to is OK.

ASHALEE

2010-01-18T22:31:00.003-07:00

My oldest is 16 and she is the most wonderful, beautiful most amazing girl I know. Happy 16 Ashy, you are still my sunshine.

Can anyone tell me?

2009-08-30T17:40:00.005-06:00

When did my children grow up?

Summer

2009-08-01T14:33:00.010-06:00

This summer was bittersweet. It was the first summer my kids have ever had a normal visitation with their Dad. So for two, two week periods this summer I have been wandering around the house aimlessly. Not really, school, work, and summer sewer projects always call to me. I traveled when I could, to ignore the gaping hole in my heart that is filled perfectly by Ashalee, Andrew and Adam. So, I did get to go to Florida, Asheville NC and Olympia WA. The scenery was awesome, but even better than the scenery were true friends who regardless of my neurosis (like tubing down death defying rapids, or worrying I won't make it hiking),still consider me a friend. Hopefully a life long friend. These are some of the most amazing women, and I consider it a privilege to call them friends.

Do I need any more reasons?

2009-08-01T14:06:00.003-06:00

http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=218&ad=7369522&cat=105&lpid=14 (copy and paste into browser)
The divorce rate is rising exponentially. It's not like people need anymore incentive to divorce, but here is one more reason to NOT marry. My favorite part of this listing is the misspelling of excessively right after drinks hmmmm. Just thought I would be helpful. You know, doing my part to help prevent unnecessary pain by preaching abstinence from marriage. If the website doesn't work on your browser this is what the ad reads, listed under pets.

Husband Needs Good Home
provo, UT 84655 - Jul 31, 2009
My Husband needs a good home..
not housebroken.. Barks all the time.
Stays outside most the time. Drinks Exsessivly
Eats 22 hours of the day
if you can give him a good home please email me thanks

Friends

2009-07-12T13:04:00.002-06:00

There are times in our lives where we see who our real friends are and set free those who are simply posing as friends, when in reality they are the furthest thing from a true friend. Thank you to all my friends who choose to love. You are amazing gifts.

South Dakota Crazy Hinton Reunion

2009-06-19T16:43:00.003-06:00

I love my family even though they drive me crazy at times. I wonder if anyone else feels this way? They know your most vulnerable spots and sometimes use it to their advantage. Some have bathed with you, played with you, been disciplined with you and cried with you. None of us is close to perfect and I wouldn't want it any other way because many times it's our imperfections that bring us closer. Congratulations Hinton family we survived another reunion still loving each other regardless of our weaknesses, political opinions, bald spots, love handles and flatulence. That is no small feat! I love you ALL!

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt!

2009-05-10T22:34:00.016-06:00

Not all of my children go to their Dad's house every other weekend. Two of them stay home with me. But when their siblings are gone and there is no one to play with but boring old me they get antsy and start harassing each other. It is a known fact that when the regular routine becomes off balance children who normally behave, start acting out. These innocent looking children of mine.....

decide to drive each other, and in turn, drive me crazy. It usually starts out with the oldest most mature, namely Bella taking a quick cheap shot at Bombo. Look closely she is quick. What you don't see in this picture is the aftermath. Bella's paw strikes Bombo soundly on the nose, numerous times. And before her calculated assault he was just minding his own business trying to take a nap.

Bombo's response is one of shock initially. He tries to gain composure and moves over to the other side of the bed to finish his nap. Bella strikes again by biting repeatedly at Bombo's whisker's. This time Bombo lets out a half hearted(in human speak)very whiny protest "STOP!" as you can see in this next picture.
He then turns his head to me as to say, "are you going to do anything about her behavior!"

Bombo the much younger sibling finally snapped and decided to take matters into his own hands pinning his older but much smaller sister to the bed with only his mouth as Bella protests loudly. This reminds me of a time when I realized that I could no longer harass my younger brother because he could take me down faster than a speeding bullet, flat on my back. Live and learn Bella, live and learn. Like they say it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

After this fiasco Bombo and Bella were sent into time out to think about what they had done and to come up with five ways they could have handled this situation differently. I never received answers from either of them they spent most of their time sulking, as noted in the pictures below.

While in time out I did catch Bombo making faces at Bella, as shown below, so I added an extra five minutes to his confinement. I'll have to talk to him about that later.

For those of you who may think it must be enjoyable for me to have no disciplining, no fighting, no noise, every other weekend. Just remember my other two children. As angelic as they may look....

don't be fooled because the cycle of sibling abuse is about to start again; right in the middle of a nap. It's a rough life, I tell ya!

No animals were harmed (seriously) during this post.

One more reason I love this guy

2009-05-09T08:45:00.007-06:00

Adam recently had a retainer put on his top teeth preparing him for braces. (I am taking donations for my ever increasing orthodontists bills:) While having the retainer fitted the dentist decided to pull one of his last remaining front baby teeth out so the retainer would work more effectively. On the way home from this very traumatic experience for Adam he hinted that maybe the tooth fairy should give him double the money, at least FIVE DOLLARS for how brave he had been . My sharpened, very perceptive Mothering Decoding Messages Skill (or MCDS) heard this. "Mom, I have been saving up my money for a new mp3 player and if you pay me at least FIVE DOLLARS I will have reached my goal and be able to jam out on my new mp3 player." I reminded him of the fact that he hasn't believed in the tooth fairy for years but that I think he did a very good job at not biting the dentist this time. I told him I would think about it and then dropped him off at school to finish the day and show off his new mouthful of hardware. Adam came in the house after school very upset and trying not to cry. I asked him if he was OK and he explained to me through his tears that he had left his newly pulled tooth on his lunch tray because he wanted to show it to the lunch lady (apparently him and the lunch lady are pretty tight?). Because he was so hungry he set it on his tray and in his haste to get out to recess to "protect the girls from bullies" he let the poor lonely tooth be dumped into the abyss of unwanted potatoes, gravy and frozen carrots. And because of the good mother that I am I tried my best to console him then sent him outside to play because maybe that would cheer him up. I just barely reached my room when I couldn't control my gut instinct to laugh, no actually it was more like a guffaw. It was the funniest story I had heard all day! (I know, not to empathetic.) Fast forward to bed time. Adam, my very sensitive and emotional fifth grader comes to me again with tears in his eyes wondering what he should do about the tooth fairy dilemma. He had no proof "except for a big hole in his head" and he doesn't think that will be enough to get his FIVE DOLLARS. I came up with an ingenious plan. I told him that the tooth fairy may consider giving him the money if he could write up a short proposal about what happened and why he thinks he should get the money. Maybe even a signed and notarized affidavit from the lunch lady and his best friend Aaron saying they did indeed see the tooth. He seemed less than excited because writing is not his strongest subject math is. With that we all went to bed. Morning time rolls around much to soon in our house and Ashalee has to be out the door by seven to make it to Tuachan. As I am sleeping I here a big bang coming from the stairs and Ashalee moaning. She slowly creeps into my room to tell me she was coming up the stairs and slipped on a piece of paper. She handed it to me and this is what I read.

For those of you that are having a hard time reading it this is what it said exactly the way he wrote it.

Dear Tooth Fairy,
I hope you get this note, because some thing happend to my tooth. OK I'll tell you the story, I wanted to show the lunch lady my tooth so I forgot to tak it off my lunch tray (when I was done) so it kinda ended up in the trash.
Your guy,
Adam Johnson

P.S. Can I have some mony with that?

That wasn't exactly what the tooth fairy was looking for but she couldn't resist. He clenched it when I read "your guy". I wrapped up three dollars worth of quarters(from my Vegas days:) in the note and wrote on it "thanks for clearing that up for me. The books are balanced again. Love, the tooth fairy" Then I put it in his retainer container. Things are now back to normal the drama has subsided for now. But I have to get one thing off my chest. Adam totally could have received his five dollars but apparently we really need to work on spelling and grammar this summer. Also, I had to knock one dollar off without the signed notarized affidavits, they were essential components to his case. He did earn three dollars for shear cuteness. One more reason I love my guy.

Spring

2009-04-18T23:57:00.008-06:00

The Coral Pink Sand Dunes are about 12 miles away from the ranch. I took Ash, Andrew, Cole(cousin) and the dogs out there and was reminded how beautiful it is. I was actually happy to see the red dirt in my washer, it took me back to a really good time. There is still residual of this adventure in my van and I am not sure if I want to clean it out quite yet. Yes, a van full of beautiful red dirt that could never be duplicated by photoshop can and is nostalgic to me. Call me weird,(not to my face) but I even think the stuff smells good.

Who says?

2009-04-17T17:49:00.007-06:00

There are many spoken and unspoken rules put out in the universe by well meaning but misguided people that seem to be extremely ludicrous and go against the very nature of how human beings are made. I am about to debunk one of these strange rules that has never made sense to me. And that is...who says girls aren't supposed to get dirty? We were at the ranch two weekends ago and without any prompting, this is what transpired. With no plans as to what we were going to do this is what all the girls were spontaneously and naturally drawn to.

Could you imagine what joy these (my nieces) girls would be missing out on if someone had told them to get out of the dirt because girls don't get dirty. They know nothing else but feeling the cool sand between their fingers and toes. Digging in the earth for treasures untold. Building, working on something so individually spectacular. I hope no one will ever tell them that girls shouldn't play in the dirt, but if someone ever does? I hope all of these girls remember this great dirt filled day and know that it isn't true.

Sibling Rivalry

2009-03-24T17:21:00.004-06:00

At work today the family of our program director came in to say goodbye. They had been visiting her during spring break and were going back home. One of her cutest grandchildren who is about ten and has a older brother who is 16, asked what the office was for and what we did exactly. My co-worker responded that we provide housing for Women and Children when they don't have any other place to go because someone at their house is beating them up. He looked around at all the toys in the waiting room in amazement and really seemed to be pondering what this meant. After much internal dialogue that I saw spinning around in his head he excitedly said, "Do you have a place for kids who get beat up by their big brothers?, because I could use a place like that!" For the record this boy had no visible bruises and the family seemed very capable of protecting their child from really getting beat up. Also, having two boys that are continually getting physical in a "it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt" kind of way. So this made me laugh so hard. This ten year old deciphered the message told to him of what we do, by using his own background knowledge of his brother beating him up and deciding maybe he could be in need of our housing services. I loved it! I can see it now. We could rewrite our mission statement to include not only women and children coming out of domestic violence into our long term housing; but also children who have older siblings that cause normal sibling anguish in their lives. I think we would be inundated by applications from all over the world of children who want to get the hell out their house because their siblings drive them crazy. Having six siblings I would have been one of the applicants applying for my own private, quiet home with no annoying brothers and sisters ruining my stuff, blaming me for random things and most of all beating me up. I can only say to this little boy seeking refuge from a bigger brother, that hopefully in twenty years he will have an awesome relationship with his brother and wish that he could spend more time with him. I know that is how I feel about all three of my brothers.

Laundry Detergent

2009-03-10T18:09:00.003-06:00

1 bar of soap preferably ivory or zote (I found zote at a Hispanic store it is a bar of soap made for cleaning clothes.)
1/2C washing soda (I found this at my local grocery store) If you can't find it you can replace it with the cheap version of oxyclean.
1/2C Borax

Cut the bar of soap into smaller pieces then put it in your food processor and mix it until fine. If you don't have a food processor you can grate it with a grater. Add washing soda and borax. Mix completely. It will have a laundry soap consistency when you are all done. Store in a airtight container. Use one to two tablespoons per load depending on how big and how dirty the load is, I use two. It works great. This is really fun to make with the kids. Make sure you wear some kind of mask when making, it is pretty potent.
Last week we made liquid hand soap, it was like a really cool science project and after some tweaking, it turned out really good and it smells yummy. And best of all it is 30 cents for two gallons.

Now What!

2009-03-05T08:05:00.011-07:00

Look what happened about a month ago. I thought that if I didn't mention IT or blog about IT, IT wouldn't really be happening.

Yes, that is Ashalee in the drivers seat, and yes she is actually driving.
We went down the the DMV to get her learners permit about a month ago and I honestly must say it was the first test she has taken that I prayed she would fail. But, she came through and passed with flying colors. What I want to know is how did she go from this...

To this....

Then like one of those magic sponge things that grow when you add water, to this....

This is one of Ashy's typical 15 year old "take your own picture to put on my space" but it's what we agreed on and sadly she said no to any embarrassing bathtub pictures(when she was young of course). So what happened? I love every stage of her life but I can't figure out what stage I missed to get to this point so quickly. Did I miss something? I don't think I did, but it doesn't feel like it's been fifteen years! Ash is really happy about this new turn of events and I am genuinely happy for her. I am just sad for me. Selfish as it may be five turns into ten, ten turns into twelve, twelve turns into fifteen, fifteen turns into adult...and the very unforgiving clock continues forward, never leaving time for us to breathe. I've done the math a hundred times their is no equation to stop or turn back time. It just keeps marching forward like a out of control, speeding mack truck with no brakes to give us rest. Maybe it's a almost mid life crisis, but as I am sitting here thinking of how much I miss the three month, one year, five year, twelve year, fourteen year old Ashalee, I am so thrilled to be able to hang out with the fifteen year old Ash. And coming sooner than later the twenty year, thirty and forty year old Ashalee. I have the kindest, bravest, and the most beautifully bold daughter, and any way she allows me to share her life no matter the age, I will consider it a privilege. And while I am at it, how did these cute children.....

So quickly morph into these most awesome kids in the world?

Interesting, but not surprising

2009-03-03T07:42:00.004-07:00

This just in...Study: Utah ranks No. 1 for online porn subscriptions
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=5744801
Utah is number one in many things some good, some bad. Prescription drugs for anxiety and depression are being handed out like candy, we are number one in that to. If it weren't so sad I would think it was funny. Maybe we could charge a huge state tax for those who subscribe to porn in the name of their sanctified marriage. This tax could go directly to students and teachers because Utah isn't number one in education. They are the lowest in per pupil funding...food for thought. I really do love Utah it is one of the most beautiful states in the country. I wonder if hiding these issues under a blanket of pretense and holier than thou attitude is really helpful. I guess when it really comes down to it the truth really does set you free. Some may not realize that yet.

Face the Music

2009-02-19T20:19:00.006-07:00

So I signed up for facebook last week. It's quite a trip and leaves me feeling like I am in high school again. So I guess how it works is you send out friend requests to people you know and they can either accept you or reject you as a friend...sound familiar anyone? Talk about returning back to the primitive, lower, miserable social hierarchy.... *********H I G H S C H O O L***********
So my normally secure self has become a somewhat insecure, neurotic person who talks to herself. OUT LOUD! Me checking my e-mail..You will need a code to read this. RMe= reasonable me and SRME= socially retarded me

RMe: So I sent whatshername a friend request four days ago and she hasn't responded...I wonder what's up?

SRME: I will tell you what's up, she hates your guts and thinks you are a ignorant stupid person now and in high school.

RMe: I don't remember her hating me in high school she is probably busy and just hasn't checked her mail in a while.

SRME: Whatever this is facebook EVERYONE checks their facebook..anyone cool anyway. Face the facebook music. SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU!

RMe: This is extremely ridiculous. If she doesn't want to add me as "her friend" then I most likely wouldn't want her to be "my friend".

SRME: My point exactly..she doesn't want to be your friend..didn't you break her nose in softball? Or was she the girl that you colored in her teeth in your year book?

RMe: I have never done that! Well I did break someones nose..on accident.

SRME: Maybe she didn't add you as a friend because you are clumsy and when it comes down to it, just not cool enough.

RMe: waving my white flag You are probably right..shut up please.

Pathetic and sad I know. Can you believe a insignificant online social network website could make me feel so crazy? Apparently, I need to re look at my high school years to see where all of this insane insecurity is coming from. Which means I need to work a second job to pay for more therapy...
SRME: What if the new therapist is your high school homecoming queen?
RMe: Never mind, I will just take up drinking.

Up Next..... How to start your own home worm composting system !!

2009-02-08T19:55:00.004-07:00

"Times are tough!" It's kind of getting old this new saying. So how tough are they really? I guess it comes down to each individual and what they have lost. Some have lost their jobs, house, cars, and are now homeless..that's got to be hard. Some have lost their internet connection and had to sell their prized china on craigslist. Many have lost their hope. Quite a few are trying to figure out what the big deal is and still get paid millions to run a failing corporate business only to watch it be bailed out by us. I have found the solution to all our problems! Ok, I got a little carried away. There are many things we don't have control of right now. But, there are still many things we can and should control right now. I am blessed to have a job and a roof over my head, but money is still a issue for everyone. So Adam and I were working on his merit badge and decided to figure out how to save money... We spend the most on household items like laundry detergent, paper towels, cleaners etc. So we decided to start making our own laundry detergent. We figured it out and it costs 2 cents a load compared to 20 cents a load with our old detergent. And it works just as good as the store stuff. It feels good to save money. But we will definitely stop at making our own toilet paper..no one would enjoy that.

Christmas 2008

2009-01-14T18:56:00.001-07:00

No more whine in 2009

2009-01-14T10:11:00.003-07:00

So the kids and I were trying to think of a catchy somewhat cheesy phrase to represent 2009. These are some of the runner ups. Feeling fine in 2009, not a dime in 2009, Why oh Why 2009!, Shut up and drive 2009, you make me cry 2009, eat and dine in 2009, find a pine in 2009 (this time when it's light out) and wish you were mine in 2009. We went with no more whine in 2009. I do have to admit it wasn't the most popular vote and I swayed it quite substantially by enforcing the fact that Mom's one vote really should count for four votes because of the magnitude of my job as mother. So due to this unfortunate voting protocol no more whine in 2009 won by a landslide! I plan to use this new years mantra wisely. My children will hear it often but not to often in fear of them tuning me out as it is spoken. Whining changes gears for children as they mature. But in no way does it stop happening. So for all you mothers out there who have young children and think the whine is just a developmental age appropriate behavior and that it will soon subside, you are living a pipe dream. Sorry to burst your bubble but it just changes from "Mommy, I want a happy meal!" to "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!, Ashalee is invading my bubble she is crossing my boundary. Tell her to stop!" or "Mom, Mom, Mom please can you buy me the new I pod touch? Please Please!" (happy meals are much cheaper). So the current whine I experience contains more words but still contains that high pitched- break your ear drum sound that makes us want to scream. Love my kids, hate the whine. It's official I won at least one child over for our 2009 saying. After much deliberation Adam decided that maybe it's not such a bad saying after all. He suggested the title we chose "no more whine in 2009" could be a helpful reminder for many people, kids who are spoiled, co-workers who complain to much, sales people who try to get you to by stuff, but especially for people who drank to much in 2008.... Glad we could be of service.

Christmas Tree's and Cactus don't mix

2008-12-14T12:02:00.011-07:00

Because nothing in our lives is either easy nor unexciting; this experience is no exception. My children will have many many crazy stories to tell their children. If my children wanted a normal childhood they were born to the wrong mother and I know they are exactly where they are supposed to be, and sometimes I am sad for them because of it but they will never lack character and they can thank me their crazy mother for it. This true story begins on Monday December 8, 2008. A very gloomy day dark opaque clouds hovering low not a mountain to be seen. Finally after days of great weather, sunny days that lasted forever; Winter had come. Most of the shiny golden yellow leaves had fell as the trees stretched and swirled nakedly in the wind seeming to ask the sky for their clothes back. I to wanted something back from the sky.. I wanted to be able to see the sky in all its grandiose blueness the blue that can never be replicated not even by Crayola. I also wanted to be warm and none of these were happening. Enter my bad, gloomy mood. My mood was as dark and cranky as the clouds that mocked me and covered my gargantuan sky that usually reaches toward space all the way to the tip of the mountains kissing them gently with its happiness. I am getting way off track. So it was a bad day, I had a final to take and was in no mood to write essays on various sexual dysfunctions, developments of cohesive family models and the prevalence rates of maladaptive behavior in persons that use marijuana regularly. In fact now that I think of it a little marijuana would have been very helpful to me throughout this ever-growing-worse day. (just kidding Mom and any small children reading this. Marijuana is very bad bad bad for you). To spare you anymore of my crazy specifics I will get right to the point. That is what I have been trying to do this whole time..no really! This day bad days of all bad days was unfortunately the one and only day we could go cut down the tree at the ranch before Christmas. So in true fashion we all piled into the truck and speed out to the Christmas tree store aka the ranch. If you have never been to the ranch let me paint a picture for you. As far as the Christmas tree situation you can find a real Christmas tree every thirty feet...if you are lucky. The rest of the trees are juniper or something like that they are pretty in their own ugly way, but not very conducive to having them in your house, because they shed. We had to speed because we were racing Father time and failing miserably. As we speed toward the ranch the sun gets lower and lower waving goodbye. Now I must ask have you ever gone Christmas tree hunting in the dark in the middle of nowhere? We turned off the safe secure main road and headed into the dark abyss of the ridge. The trees barely lighted by the rapidly setting sun were warning all their tree friends that we were there and WE HAD A SAW!!. We pile hurriedly out of the truck and scatter to search for a tree almost anything will do maybe even the kind that shed bark? As it darkened a sense of panic began to encompass me. It was dark, the coyotes were starting to howl and I had no idea where my children were, I could only hear them. I screamed my mama bear scream "Come Here!" that if translated says "stop what you are doing this is important I need to keep you safe follow my voice wherever you are I mean business don't ask why I am your mother!" All in one statement, I thought about patenting it someday but I am not the only mother out there. The kids came flying at me from all directions wondering what my deal is and why the heck am I yelling! I tell them to stay by me so they don't get eaten by coyotes or that one wild cow we have never found that is wandering around and is terribly ferocious. They all rolled their eyes simentaneuoly and reminded me that cows are herbivores and we are the ones that eat cow. I looked around frantically and noticed everyone was with me but Michele she did not hear my mother bear command because I am not her Mother. The task turned from looking for a tree in the dark to looking for Michele in the dark. I asked Andrew the brave prepared boy scout where the flashlights were and he quietly reminded me that I told him to leave them in the truck that we didn't need them. A blood curdling scream rang out through the shedding trees and we strained to hear what or who it was as it chilled us to the bone. Just kidding, actually it was Michele yelling to tell us she thought she found a tree the whole blood curdling thing sounded better though. We ran..I mean crouching low to the ground feeling our way around like old blind people. We found her and safe and sound standing next to the cutest Christmas tree ever...at least we think it was cute we couldn't really tell in the dark. We had to act fast! Michele handed me the saw and instructed me to start sawing while she and Andrew went to get the truck so we could shine the lights on it to see what we are cutting. I started sawing away in the dark unbeknownst to me that the sharp pain I was feeling on my knee was a cactus I had ever so gently kneeled on. Michele and Andrew had, incidentally brought the gloves with them because they were much more helpful with them than the person cutting down the tree glove less! I continued cutting like a crazy mad woman while Michele continues to circle in the truck not finding us because it was snowing wildly. While cutting the tree down with frozen hands now sitting on the cactus, Adam decided he would take matters into his own hands. He stripped his coat and his two layers of shirts and flashed the truck with his naked belly. I yelled, "what are you doing?" He replied, "you can't see dark clothes at night but I know Michele will be able to see my belly because it's white!" I was not in the mood to argue with my half naked son standing in a snow storm trying to use his cute white belly as some kind of reflector so we could be saved. Still sawing violently I could have cut my finger off and not have known it, it was that cold. Adam's belly reflecting worked, Michele saw Adam's blinding light and followed it to us. By the time she got to us the tree was almost cut. Andrew finished cutting it we threw it in the truck and got in to thaw out. After being warmed up I the throbbing pain in my hind quarters and my knee were perplexing. I turned the light in the truck on and noticed my pants were permanently stuck to me by cacti needles. Hence the title Christmas tree's and cacti don't mix..they really don't. Amen

Colorado Slide Show

2008-12-04T19:48:00.001-07:00

One of these things is not like the other....

2008-12-03T19:53:00.010-07:00

This is my back yard the day before Thanksgiving it's still as beautiful and I am having a really hard time coming to grips that it's Winter. It was 64 degrees and gorgeous today. (I must be getting desperate if I am in the mood to write about the weather)But who says talking about the weather is boring? Obviously not me.

There is a huge contrast between my back yard and Colorado. I didn't have the kids for Thanksgiving so I decided instead of staying home and moping I would go to Colorado. I brought my favorite sidekick super MO aka Michele. We had a blast visiting Becca and Christine. They are known to bring out a whole new side of people and they did. Wild and crazy! Actually we just sat around and relaxed which was awesome! No dancing or crazy making allowed at their house. Here are some pictures of the ride home. It was one of the best times I have had in a long time.

Halloween with the cutest cowgirl and cowboy EVER

2008-11-03T07:30:00.011-07:00

California

2008-10-19T19:57:00.004-06:00

Me and Michele drove to California this weekend for a early birthday present for me and a late one for her. We also had beach fever. We went to the Ellen show because it was free and I think she is funny. Her show is done on the Warner Brothers lot. She seemed kind of sad that day, and I was wondering if she is always that sad. Warner Brothers is very media oriented of course and I had no idea what the hype was about certain shows that were aired on the lot probably because I don't have TV. All I can say is I am so happy I am not famous. There are so many things you would have to give up and sometimes that could mean values that you thought were a priority. It would be so easy to sell your values for money and not even realize that is what you are doing. I think famous people have a hard job and wonder if the reason some of them are famous is because they are trying to fulfill something within themselves that they will never find being in the spotlight. Just food for thought. I am even more grateful for my little part of the world trying to be kind and choosing to love, and contributing what I can. So the trip was AWESOME! We drove down sunset blvd. and through Beverley Hills. The architecture was great and we got some great ideas for the house here. We drove down Pacific Coast Highway and ended up at a really cool beach spot called El Matador. I am ready to go back. Here's a slide show of the beach.

Adam is 11

2008-10-05T19:30:00.003-06:00

As I was typing the title to this entry I accidentally typed Adam is 22. It took my breath away and I stared at it for a long time. I was completely taken aback. But if Adam's first eleven years of life is any indication of how the next ten years will go. He will be 22 tomorrow. This has gone way to fast for me and I don't like it. But I am going to focus on what I do like. I like that we can talk about anything and he understands what I am saying.(except for that time I brought up school and tried to discuss Psychosocial Causal Factors In Unipolar Disorders. He quietly and mannerly walked out of the room.) I love that with every year his reasoning capability and critical thinking improves. I love that when he is thinking of something I can tell by his facial expressions; they are so loud you could almost read his mind. He wears his heart on his sleeve and loves to talk to strangers and is genuinely concerned with people in need. Adam is an awesome boy turning into a awesome man. Happy Birthday Adam! Ashalee's birthday is next, I hope I don't accidentally type Ashalee is 55! Oh, and a quick thank-you to everyone who came to Adam's party. I have the best siblings ever! I love you ALL!

Ranch cleaning party

2008-09-23T14:08:00.004-06:00

Me and the kids went out to the ranch on one very important task. It was to clean the ranch house. We split up the work and got it done faster than I thought. We played first of course. It was great enjoying my children while cleaning, listening to music, trying out our new dance moves while cleaning. Next weekend I will go out to finish the windows and base boards. Have I told you lately how much I love Ashalee, Andrew, and Adam?

My Best Friend

2008-09-07T22:01:00.005-06:00

Michele and her flip flops

I am extremely lucky to have such an awesome best friend. Michele is one of the kindest people I know. I have learned from her that kindness is more than a behavior, it's a way of being. She loves my children, therefore, I love her. I have known her for four years but it's felt like longer. We have so many inside jokes that at times it's hard to make eye contact with her for fear of bursting out laughing. When I see her she usually knows what kind of day I have had. We have so much in common but are so different at the same time. I love being with her even if we are doing manual labor that is kicking my butt, because we enjoy each others company and it usually turns out hilarious. For example, on Wednesday we decided to take the boat out to Quail lake while the kids were in school. When we got there the boat wouldn't start. So Michele said, "We can just turn the boat around, back the truck up into the water and jump the battery to the boat. The visual for me was that BOTH vehicles would be in the water, and electricity and water don't mix. I reluctantly agreed to help her with this insane endeavour praying the entire time that no one would get electrocuted. Miraculously we stayed safe, got the boat started and headed off onto the lake. When it was time to go the boat didn't start. We were almost as far away from the dock as we could be. No boats on the lake, just us. I freaked, Michele jumped in the water tied a rope onto a hook on the front of the boat. She looped the rope around so that it made two ropes coming of the knot. One for me, one for her. At that moment I understood what she was doing. We were going to pull/swim the boat to the dock! I reluctantly jumped in and we started swimming like crazy pulling the boat a inch a minute. This is not a small boat either. It's a 18 foot pontoon boat with a bathroom on the back. In the middle of the swim, I look over at her and she is just smiling. We were actually having fun. Except for the part I thought I was going to drown. The point is that we made it. We did it together. forty five minutes of swimming pulling a boat together laughing at the predicament we got to share together. I call it a Michele moment, and I have many, many more. I wouldn't change any of those crazy stranded somewhere pretend your Mcgyver moments for anything, because they were with her. She is impulsive and that drives me crazy because I am not, but I have never laughed so hard with another person. Come to think of it I have never cried so hard with another person. She'll say things like "let's build a house today" or "Do you want to tile today" with so much excitement in her voice. She truly believes there is nothing she can't do. I have learned by watching and working with her that I can do anything. I know how to drywall, tile, frame, paint my toenails, and love deeper because of her. I care about her so much that I will forgive her for wearing flip flops while riding a horse. There are things I teach her too. Looks like she's getting a pair of cowboy boots for Christmas. Anyone up for a lake drive/swim?

Andrew

2008-08-24T18:23:00.008-06:00

Most of the gang!

Happy Birthday Andrew! It was Andrew's 12th Birthday yesterday and as no surprise he requested to have it at the ranch. So 22 of his closest family members and friends rode out into the boondocks and threw a huge party for the greatest twelve year old I know. Andrew LOVED the party so much that even after everyone left, we still partied until eleven thirty pm and then crashed landed into bed. Today we cleaned up and went home. Andrew, of course didn't want to go home and begged me to leave him out at the ranch. My heart strings pulled and his big blue eyes were shining on me with all the joy and hope in the world. Sometimes I look in his big blues and see the big blue ranch sky. It is his world. He is confident and self assured at the ranch. He is at peace with himself and everything surrounding him. I felt bad that we had to leave. But I can't wait for the day he can take his old beat up Ford truck out there by himself and breathe in and see all the joy and peace he can fit in those big blues and into his big heart. I am not afraid of him growing up. He will make it. I just don't want him to grow up to fast, but I know that's inevitable. But until then he has to leave the place he loves the most in the world, when Mom has to leave. But a part of both of us stayed at the ranch. It always does.

Things I did NOT do while my children were gone

2008-08-18T16:32:00.011-06:00

This is a very healthy thing for me to do so judgement isn't a option. You can't ever tell me you have ever NOT done something you thought you SHOULD do, or have a sink full of dishes.
Did NOT do dishes

Did NOT clean my room

Or Bathroom

Did NOT study for this...

Did NOT read this (even though I should, my brain feels like it's switched off! I am still trying to figure out who switched it off! There must be someone to blame.)

Did NOT water or weed my garden

Did NOT plant grass in the back field.

But alas, it is Friday and MOST of them are done, except for the fixing my brain part. My children and I are better for it! So go out there and NOT do something today you think you SHOULD. I dare you.

Things I want to do while my children are gone

2008-08-17T09:44:00.016-06:00

Another weekend without my children:-( So I thought I would write a list of things I could do while they are at their Dads house, so that I would stop staring catatonically at the ceiling when they are gone. I wanted some of the things on the list to be just about me taking care of myself so that when my children come home I am a functional, caring, stable mother for them. As most mother's do I get wrapped up so much in what I am SUPPOSED to do or what I SHOULD do. So by the time I do all the should's I am exhausted. So to keep myself accountable and sane I will share with the Internet world my list in pictures.
Finish my Spirograph art (great therapy, btw)

Get a pedicure

Feed the dogs

Read (one of my favorites)

Relax in one of my favorite places in the world, my back yard.

Take pictures of my back yard

Pick my garden (anyone want tomatoes?)

Take pictures of my garden (mmm yellow squash)

Sleep

Help Michele with the out building soon to be therapy house

Just a few things on my list of what I want to do. Tune in next time for things I should do but I am not :-)

The little things

2008-08-05T13:52:00.012-06:00

I spent the weekend up in Salt Lake. My parent's forgot two boxes I brought them up to them. It sounds like they are having a blast in the MTC. I stayed in downtown Salt Lake which I love and I got some good pictures roaming the streets. The trip was somewhat relaxing and nerve wracking. The kids were with their Dad (second visit unsupervised) and by Saturday I was remembering the little things that I love so much about them. Adam's wonderful singing voice and his great hugs. His business mind put to work on how to save the world and HE WILL in his own way. Andrew's philosophical way of explaining to me why he should have a gun and why he shouldn't have to take the trash out and him coming upstairs for the millionth time just to spend more time with me or to tell me something VERY IMPORTANT. Ashalee's no nonsense attitude when it comes to things she is very passionate about, like loving and caring for others regardless of who or what they do. Her adult way of expressing and verbalizing herself even though she is only 14. And when she acts exactly like a fourteen year old. This new transition has been positive in some ways but the biggest way for me is that I will be less likely to take them for granted. They are awesome, wonderful, beautiful people. I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder. Or maybe better put, absence makes the heart grow larger.

This is what summer is for

2008-07-28T18:15:00.001-06:00

The kids and I went to the ranch this weekend. I know I have discussed my total love and endearment to this wonderful place so I will try to spare you. Summer has been awesome and I (and the kids)really wish school didn't start so soon. Ashalee starts Tuachan on the 11th and I have a feeling I won't see my daughter much. She is really excited to get in there and get involved. The boy's start school on the 13th. Andrew will be in sixth grade and I am holding my breath that it will be a healthy, positive transition for him. So back to summer, we love it and wish it was summer everyday. I guess if I home schooled it would be, sort of......

Summer at the ranch

2008-07-28T18:10:00.001-06:00

Saying Goodbye

2008-07-27T10:17:00.005-06:00

Yesterday we went over to my parents house to say goodbye one last time before they head off for the adventure of their lives, second to raising seven children of course. It was sad to say goodbye, in some strange way it felt like I was sending my children off to their first day of kindergarten. Maybe it has to do with the circle of life thing when the children start feeling the need to become caretaker of their parents, I don't know. I know they will do awesome in South Dakota and fulfill everything God asks them to do. But I am guessing that the people of South Dakota will have more of an affect on my parents then my parents will on them. That is just how service is. You go to serve people and before you know its because of them allowing you to serve them, you receive the overflow of blessings of knowing people that will change your life forever. I miss them already, but know they are in good hands.

Christian the lion

2008-07-26T09:45:00.010-06:00

If you haven't seen this video you have got too! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__UHSZHJ9LA It makes me want to get another dog! ha ha just kidding. The lions hugs remind me of Bombo when he hugs you like that they call it a wheaten greatin. So I thought I would post recent pictures of him. One of the coolest dogs in the world.

My is was and is to come

2008-07-20T14:08:00.005-06:00

My faithful Father, enduring Friend. Your tender mercy’s like a river with no end. It overwhelms me, covers me Each time I come into Your presence I stand in wonder once again.
Your grace still amazes me Your love is still a mystery. Each day I fall on my knees. Your grace still amazes me because Your grace still amazes me. Oh, patient Saviour, You make me whole. You are the Author and the Healer of my soul. What can I give You, Lord, what can I say. I know there’s no way to repay You, Only to offer You my praise. It’s deeper, it’s wider It’s stronger, it’s higher It’s deeper it’s wider It’s stronger, it’s higher than anything my eyes can see. Your grace still amazes me Your love is still a mystery each day I fall on my knees because Your grace still amazes me.

I have had many people ask me why I chose my blog address to be http://www.iswasistocome.blogspot.com/ and I found the perfect song to explain it, so I typed up the lyrics and put the song on my play list. I don't consider myself a "religious" person. But I do know that my faithful Father IS completely in charge of my is (present) was (past) and my is to come (future). Surrendering to HIM and HIS plans, (not my plans) for me has been the best thing I have ever done. And when I forget who really knows what awesome plans, are in store for me all I have to do is look up, and remember He is and always will be my is was and is to come. This may not be others' truth and I respect their truth, whatever gets us through the day. This is my truth and I don't know what I would do without it. My foundation IS in HIM.

Growing Pains

2008-06-26T19:08:00.009-06:00

The boys and I drove to see Amber and Jeremy this weekend with Mom and Dad. Ash couldn't come because she was at girls camp. We really enjoyed hanging out with Jeremy, Amber, Cole and Cali. It was weird not having Ashalee there and I continue to have major issues with her growing up. Speaking of growing up, I have never stayed with Amber and Jeremy as now they are adults. Except one problem, nobody told me. You see, Amber and Jeremy were made for each other, I truly believe that. And like most married people both or one party often forgets. It's strange watching your littlest brother morph into a man, trying to provide for a family and parent two children. As I watched Amber and Jeremy live in the real world of parenting, marriage and just plain surviving I was so inspired by how much they have to offer the world through their own personal lives and through their children. I admire their strength to keep on going even when it is rough. I know they will continue figuring things out and I will LOVE to attend their fiftieth wedding anniversary, with their children and family surrounding them, where they can stare in each other's eyes and be able to say, "What a ride!" I love them both so much, and I know they love each other. I also got to see Kristi on this trip my the baby, youngest, the spoiled one whatever most people call the youngest member of the family. She is no longer any of those. She is a strong, beautiful women with two children that are blessed to have her as a mom. She is patient and loves her children, and once again I was never informed of the transformation she is continually making. She is no longer a little girl, I'm not sure when that happened. So what I have concluded from all this is that I am obviously the only one that still has to grow up, but do I have to?

The two cutest boys in the world

Three generations of really cute men.

I miss Ashy

2008-06-13T18:41:00.007-06:00

So Ash is at youth conference at Snow College with her blue hair. (She thought they might kick her out.) They probably would have if she were going to BYU. There are some real straight laced weirdos at that school that are just looking for someone to kick out :). My point is that I REALLY miss her. It's just not the same around here. There is no one to talk politics, religion, morals, other people and our own misjudgments, and of course if the guy playing Edward in the twilight movie is hot. While she has been gone I have suddenly realized how much I love talking to her and listening to her. She is at that stage where she can conceptualize an idea and look at it from any angle and choose cognitively and in her heart what SHE feels is right. It is quite an amazing thing to watch. She is so bright and loves to debate hot topics that she feels strongly about(just say the word abortion or holocaust and you've got one heck of a fight standing in front of you with blue hair.) So the blue matches her perfectly, but it will only last so long. Tuachan doesn't allow any color in hair, in fact she will be spending the next four years in khaki pants and polo shirts. But I know she will shine no matter what her hair color or clothing is because that's what she does best. Ashy come home! Here is a before and after. BEFORE
AFTER

More Spirit of West Coast Pictures

2008-06-04T08:03:00.006-06:00

Wishing we could all go back!

Good Times

2008-05-28T15:18:00.008-06:00

We took our annual Del Mar California trip this weekend and the kids were SO sad to miss the last two days of school. We had an awesome time and wanted more beach time. We got to see Melisa, Jr., Verlyn, and the beautiful Laree, I wish I had pictures hopefully Melisa posts some on her blog. My kids are growing way to fast. Ashalee is officially taller than me and almost as wise and the boys are moving in. Here are some pictures of the trip. We are very excited for summer and plan to live out everyday with adventure and excitement because school just comes too soon.

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-11T14:54:00.002-06:00

At the very bottom of this page is a music video about Mothers, it's a must watch for many reasons. The group is called Il Divo. If it makes you cry you must post and tell me.

Warning Gory Picture

2008-04-22T13:04:00.004-06:00

Andrew REALLY wants me to post this so here goes. He was riding on the back of his friend's bike and going down a pretty steep hill and fell off, knocked himself out got up holding his eye and fell down again. This resulted in a pretty big gash just below his eye brow and major road rash on his cheek and stomach. Andrew calls them war wounds. Please pray he will make it living until his eighteenth birthday, he is quite the dare devil. I am thinking tackle football might curb his desire to do dangerous things a little bit. So after four hours in the emergency room, a ct scan and a whole bunch of stitches this is the results. It looks really good now and has mostly healed. He is quite the guy, the day after it happened he was riding his bike, skate boarding and running. Thank goodness skiing season is over.

The Ranch

2008-04-22T12:30:00.006-06:00

Just Andrew and I went to the ranch this weekend and got to have some one on one time. Love of the ranch is one of the things we have in common. To some the ranch is just a piece of land that occupies rabbits, rodents, sage brush, rabbit brush a few cows, old windmills, broken houses and a very old horse. But to me it represents peace, tranquility and memories. Memories that I will forever hold in my heart whether or not the ranch changes. There is a old windmill by the old corral that I am obsessed with. It's literally falling apart the blades that are left on it are bent and corroded, but yet it still stands. When the wind blows you can hear it creak back and forth not sure what to do anymore. I have taken so many pictures of this windmill from every angle possible but I am not sure why, maybe just to understand it better. It may sound strange but I experience so much familiarity and commonality with this old windmill I think I understand it and it understands me.

Sunny days

2008-03-02T18:37:00.000-07:00

Waiting impatiently for days like these. I feel it just around the corner. It's sad how we don't really appreciate precious time when it's present. Like I am doing now.

Soap Box 2

2008-02-17T16:10:00.002-07:00

I consider myself open minded to the way people think and why they may think that way. I try to look without judgment and realize people do what they know, and sometimes what they know doesn't make sense to me, but that doesn't matter it makes sense to them. If someone doesn't know better they usually don't do better. Loving unconditional (myself and others) regardless of action or behavior is my forever never ending life time goal, and I am not even close to being where I want to be. I truly believe kindness can heal many hurts that ail this world. Meanness seems to be the "thing" lately. Sarcasm at someone else's expense is widely and readily accepted. Just turn on the TV. We are constantly being attacked by words and I am not sure we really even notice. So what I am having such a hard time understanding is why are we letting this happen? Why do children have to go to school and not only hear put downs from peers but from their educated more mature teachers also? I guess harsh words and sarcasm can only be expected from a society that deems it acceptable and in some ways cool. And when it's modeled so blatantly by adults and role models it seems like it's just the natural progression to really bad energy permeating throughout this universe, the same universe that we are supposed to care for, the universe AND the people in it. I am constantly falling into the lie that gossiping about others, using sarcasm, rudeness or judgment is better than just being authentic and expressing the true emotion we feel toward a specific person or event. Not having TV has helped some but I don't want to do that anymore ever. Words are powerful. They can be used to hurt or help. There is enough pain in this world why keep contributing? I would like to help.

The Dog Saga Continues

2008-02-14T22:13:00.007-07:00

We had Midnight on a three week trial and as much as we wanted it to work out with him it just wasn't. He was just to much dog for us. Andrew was very sad but suddenly a three month old wheaten terrier named Bombo (Bo for short) changed his mind. Andrew's new best friend. And he doesn't try to eat Andrew. A big bonus after the Midnight experience. So we have officially adopted Bombo and Andrew is in love, so is Bo. Happy Valentines Day!

ADAM

2008-02-14T21:44:00.003-07:00

What can I say about this little, well not so little boy that has a heart of gold. He has consistent, real conversations with God and his relationship with him is something I admire. He finds the good in everyone and everything. He is motivated and upbeat about almost everything in his world. He is a sensitive guy who considers the feelings of others. He has a temper and is learning how to express his feelings appropriately and I love watching him being able to control himself. He sings opera in the shower, kitchen, his bedroom, the car and has a beautiful voice. He still likes to hug and kiss his Mom and doesn't mind showing affection. He has a million "ideas" and a mind full of creative things he is going to accomplish and he will. He is a wiz at math. He hates cursive. He wants to save the world. He is learning to listen to his gut and follow his heart. There is so much more to say about him. Everyday with him is a privilege and I love him.

Soap Box

2008-02-13T09:31:00.004-07:00

Mitt Romney spent roughly $600,000 a week, $10.2 million in the year 2007 on campaign commercials alone according to this article in cnn politics .com. http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/11/13/romney.ads/index.html. Just commercials not any of the other NECESSARY tactics and strategies needed to run an effective campaign. Romney's running mates aren't far behind.
A study recently done by the National Law Center on Homelessness and Poverty states that approximately 3.5 million people in the U.S., 1.35 million of them children, are likely to experience homelessness in a given year (National Law Center on Homelessness and Poverty, 2007).
Mitt Romney concedes the presidential race, it feels like a $10.2 million dollar gamble to me, and it didn't pay off. Some would argue there is absolutely no correlation between the amount of money political candidates spend on their campaign and the amount of homelessness in our country. Ask just one of the 1.35 million children that experience homelessness and I think they would tell you differently. Does anyone else think there is something wrong with this picture? One of the many questions I have that will probably never be answered.

And I said I would never have a dog

2008-01-28T21:55:00.000-07:00

Now we have three! They are truly part of our family. Introducing Midnight our very funny labradoodle. Andrew has been working very hard to earn the right to care for his own dog. So far it's going great, they are really cute with each other. Andrew does most of the caring for Midnight, he even wipes his feet off when coming in the house. It's great to see him be so responsible. Our three VERY obedient dogs, Koda, Bella, and Midnight, to bad they aren't always this way. Hope your week is wonderful!

Random thoughts

2008-01-15T22:27:00.000-07:00

So I received some validation (sorry I am the middle child and when it comes to family I need more validation than some people) from most of you that you were in fact reading this blog. Therefore I will continue it until I receive a e-mail or a call that you no longer want to know about what is happening with us. That's not entirely true I think me and the kids will keep this going only for ourselves. Mom and Dad, I know we see you at least once a week but I promise you will love this blog even more when you are in some foreign land on your mission wishing you could hug all 25 of your grandchildren at one time. I love you all SO much and hope you are doing well. Today was mostly a day of reflection and I realized I just don't say that to my family enough. God keeps giving me opportunities to say the important things and I am not taking them. So here is my feeble attempt to be obedient. Mom, Dad, Eric, Lori, Dustin, Holly, Jeremy, Kristi and spouses and your children, you are closest to my heart I think of you daily and wish love, grace and kindness to find you. Love Angela

PS: I am really working with GOD about the validation thing and I almost have it fixed. your welcome. Oh and Andrew has been begging me to put this picture of him at the ranch for all to see. Proof that he can ride the four wheeler by himself. What a man! Also his cowboy picture it's very important that you see it. I love eleven year old boys!

Ashalee is 14

2008-01-10T09:43:00.000-07:00

So it's official. There is no possible way I could have a fourteen year old and be the age I am. I haven't been able to reconcile this is my mind, the math just doesn't work out. But as far as daughters go I couldn't ask for a better one. I joke with her by saying she passed my maturity level at the age of five. She truly is a old soul in a young body. She has empathy for others and shows insights only a person weathered by life would know. Happy Birthday Ash you are beautiful inside and out and I love you!

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T09:00:00.000-07:00

Happy New Year! The kids and I decided to start this up to keep and stay in touch with the people we love. All of us are going to post this blog so we will see how it goes. To start out I am posting pictures from Christmas tree hunting at the ranch and skiing pictures from Brianhead. We headed up to Brianhead the day after Christmas and skied like crazy. The kids are getting really good. Andrew is officially an extreme skier. I can't watch him without cringing. He flips, goes off jumps and crashes on purpose just to bury himself in the snow. Ashalee and Adam are much more conservative and for that I thank them. We love you all!