Sunday, August 24, 2008

Andrew

Most of the gang!





Happy Birthday Andrew! It was Andrew's 12th Birthday yesterday and as no surprise he requested to have it at the ranch. So 22 of his closest family members and friends rode out into the boondocks and threw a huge party for the greatest twelve year old I know. Andrew LOVED the party so much that even after everyone left, we still partied until eleven thirty pm and then crashed landed into bed. Today we cleaned up and went home. Andrew, of course didn't want to go home and begged me to leave him out at the ranch. My heart strings pulled and his big blue eyes were shining on me with all the joy and hope in the world. Sometimes I look in his big blues and see the big blue ranch sky. It is his world. He is confident and self assured at the ranch. He is at peace with himself and everything surrounding him. I felt bad that we had to leave. But I can't wait for the day he can take his old beat up Ford truck out there by himself and breathe in and see all the joy and peace he can fit in those big blues and into his big heart. I am not afraid of him growing up. He will make it. I just don't want him to grow up to fast, but I know that's inevitable. But until then he has to leave the place he loves the most in the world, when Mom has to leave. But a part of both of us stayed at the ranch. It always does.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Things I did NOT do while my children were gone

This is a very healthy thing for me to do so judgement isn't a option. You can't ever tell me you have ever NOT done something you thought you SHOULD do, or have a sink full of dishes.
Did NOT do dishes

Did NOT clean my room

Or Bathroom

Did NOT study for this...

Did NOT read this (even though I should, my brain feels like it's switched off! I am still trying to figure out who switched it off! There must be someone to blame.)


Did NOT water or weed my garden

Did NOT plant grass in the back field.


But alas, it is Friday and MOST of them are done, except for the fixing my brain part. My children and I are better for it! So go out there and NOT do something today you think you SHOULD. I dare you.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Things I want to do while my children are gone

Another weekend without my children:-( So I thought I would write a list of things I could do while they are at their Dads house, so that I would stop staring catatonically at the ceiling when they are gone. I wanted some of the things on the list to be just about me taking care of myself so that when my children come home I am a functional, caring, stable mother for them. As most mother's do I get wrapped up so much in what I am SUPPOSED to do or what I SHOULD do. So by the time I do all the should's I am exhausted. So to keep myself accountable and sane I will share with the Internet world my list in pictures.
Finish my Spirograph art (great therapy, btw)



Get a pedicure


Feed the dogs


Read (one of my favorites)



Relax in one of my favorite places in the world, my back yard.


Take pictures of my back yard






Pick my garden (anyone want tomatoes?)


Take pictures of my garden (mmm yellow squash)


Sleep

Help Michele with the out building soon to be therapy house






Just a few things on my list of what I want to do. Tune in next time for things I should do but I am not :-)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The little things




I spent the weekend up in Salt Lake. My parent's forgot two boxes I brought them up to them. It sounds like they are having a blast in the MTC. I stayed in downtown Salt Lake which I love and I got some good pictures roaming the streets. The trip was somewhat relaxing and nerve wracking. The kids were with their Dad (second visit unsupervised) and by Saturday I was remembering the little things that I love so much about them. Adam's wonderful singing voice and his great hugs. His business mind put to work on how to save the world and HE WILL in his own way. Andrew's philosophical way of explaining to me why he should have a gun and why he shouldn't have to take the trash out and him coming upstairs for the millionth time just to spend more time with me or to tell me something VERY IMPORTANT. Ashalee's no nonsense attitude when it comes to things she is very passionate about, like loving and caring for others regardless of who or what they do. Her adult way of expressing and verbalizing herself even though she is only 14. And when she acts exactly like a fourteen year old. This new transition has been positive in some ways but the biggest way for me is that I will be less likely to take them for granted. They are awesome, wonderful, beautiful people. I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder. Or maybe better put, absence makes the heart grow larger.